Hello lovely readers and welcome to my monthly newsletter! Included is a round up of what I’ve written about this past August. To begin with are some thoughts on what has been a difficult month for me personally. I hope that you can draw some inspiration from my words. Love to all X
AUGUST REFLECTIONS:
To be honest with you I’ve been struggling recently.
My spirit has taken a hit after returning to a long-haul roster for first time since January. Having to spend my layovers confined to some very tired looking hotel rooms – including a week at an airport hotel – has been difficult for me.
The joy of getting lost in some of the world’s most exciting cities has always been one of my favourite pastimes. To get out of the hotel room always provided my mind with the outlet it needed to remain sane despite the loss of sleep.
Getting lost in the back streets of Roma, watching the sun set over the Mediterranean Sea from a beach in Tel Aviv, hiring a bike and riding across the golden gate bridge on a beautiful summers day in San Fransisco…
Need I remind myself of how extraordinarily privileged I am to have enjoyed all of these things as part of my job.
Yet, as I sit from my hotel room admiring the city scape over Sydney’s darling harbour, I can’t help but pine for the outdoors. It would be a perfect day to climb the harbour bridge or head down to bondi beach. The world is a forbidden fruit at the moment that makes me want it even more.
I feel I’ve done extremely well to make the most of this year but the truth is it’s beginning to catch up with me. I feel so sad as I sit and write these words. As wonderful an outlet as blogging has been, the human spirit struggles in isolation.
There’s something else that’s been bothering me since returning to work. Something that’s become much more apparent since returning from a long period of regular sleep. That is just how important it has been for my mental health. The body simply isn’t designed to miss a nights sleep, let alone 3 or 4 times a month as is so often the case.
When you start to do the maths it becomes a little scary.
3 to 4 nights of missed sleep per month is roughly equal to 1 year’s worth of sleep lost during the course of 10! A milestone I will reach very soon. At the age of 33, staring down the barrel of doing this for another 30, makes me want to pull the trigger now.
The warning signs are present – both physically and mentally. My body has started to tell me things my heart doesn’t want to hear. Winning the battle against depression and anxiety in my work is one thing, saving my longer term health is another. There is nothing more important than your health.
I already know I can only do this job for a handful more years. Still, I desperately don’t want the last of those years to be like this. I want to leave on my terms – knowing that it was because I chose to leave, not because my health forced me to. I want to leave simply because I know in my heart that it’s the right time to do so, with no regrets. Unfortunately this may well be out of my control. Whether it’s the coronavirus or my health that forces my hand, I have to be prepared to move on. To accept that some things are simply out of my control.
With all that said, today, I still have a job and it’s never been more important to remain grateful for that fact. To remember how my job helps the world keep ticking at a time when it’s all but ground to a halt. To remember that beyond all of this I still love to fly aeroplanes.
WHAT I’VE BEEN WRITING:
The Only Thing The World Needs From You
An opinion piece about following your dreams while simultaneously telling society to go fuck itself. I think you’ll enjoy this one!
5 Counter-Intuitive Ways To Find Your True Calling
Some follow up advice to the previous post about how one might actually find their true calling in life (whatever the fuck that means).
Why Freedom Demands Responsibility
Some thoughts about freedom and responsibility. From the article:
“Freedom demands we choose our responsibilities. The same way that having a life demands we protect it. If you want freedom of choice then you have to choose to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t someone else will choose your responsibilities for you. The danger is they will use that for their own profit and power by forming a narrative you refused to take responsibility for forming yourself. In doing so they will shut your mind from your heart. The moment that happens you’ve lost your freedom.”
5 Simple Tricks For Overcoming To-Do List Anxiety
I had a lot of fun writing this one – dishing out some timeless advice about how to write a to-do list that doesn’t make you want to jump off a building. As I wrote:
“Why exactly does writing out our responsibilities on paper cause some us to run away from them faster than a teenage boy climaxes? After all we know this kind of behaviour doesn’t help us, yet we can’t help ourselves. Sometimes all we want is to tell life to go fuck itself and so we do, even if that means fucking ourselves in the process.“
The Question To Ask Yourself Before Every Decision
A more heartfelt piece that explores that question, “Am I doing this because of love or fear?” As I wrote:
“I felt it was such an insightful way of asking yourself why or why not you should do something – whatever that may be – as you go about your day. The more I contemplated it over the following weeks, the more I realised how powerful it was as a guiding force in keeping the values I hold close to my heart, clear in my mind. After all, I believe all our feelings and actions are driven, on a basis level, by one of these two underlying emotions. This question is a great way of bringing to light, exactly which one of these two emotions is driving your actions at any particular moment.”
A short but sweet poem to finish the month.
My weekly newsletter designed to rewrite the narrative that Mondays are the most depressing day of the week and to get you in the mood for the week ahead. Following a 4:3:2:1 approach, it contains 4 exceptional thoughts from me (ha), 3 admittedly better quotes from others, and 2 things I’ve been reading and/or listening to in the week that have helped me grow. It finishes with 1 something silly to designed to make you lovely readers smile. The link above was this weeks post. Below are from the rest of the month. Enjoy!
Motivational Mondays – 24/08/20
Motivational Mondays – 17/08/20
Motivational Mondays – 10/08/20
Motivational Mondays – 03/08/20
ALSO…
A couple of milestones this month including my very first blogging award and reaching 200 fine followers!
CLOSING THOUGHTS
That’s everything from me for the wonderful month of August guys and gals. I’d like to finish by thanking all you lovely readers for taking the time to read my pokey little blog. Although it’s not been the best month of the year for me mentally – you have all helped tremendously. You really have given me strength to carry on.
For anyone else who is struggling may I add that it’s perfectly ok if you are. It’s very important to allow yourself to feel sad when you do. We must mourn the past if we are to live freely in the present. To do that you have to show up for your emotions. Ultimately that’s what I believe courage is, showing up for your emotions however they are, however difficult they may be.
If you want to drop me a line in the comments section please do. I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please don’t be afraid to speak up. I’m a stupid man but I have a big heart. All I want is to help all of you as you have helped me. Together we are better.
Love to all,
AP2 X
Clear Air Turbulence 
I really enjoyed your last piece, thank you!!. Hang in there, you are an old 33. I don’t know if this will help but I’d like to share it with you. I have come to understand that what I think or want becomes the struggle. I have found that by letting go of my thoughts and wants, while realizing that I am a part of something much larger, an Energy, that I will never understand but Trust. My mind and my thoughts become second and relief prevails. I have experienced this Energy that I trust to be the Energy of Unconditional Love. Feel better, fly free.
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Thank you Heidi, truly. I do feel better. Those words were written while confined to a hotel room a few days back. I think it’s important to let difficult emotions come and go. I believe true peace is being at peace with them as they are. As you say letting go of your thoughts and wants isn’t easy but I agree it makes a huge difference. Acceptance is key. Thank you. Trusting that you are part of something bigger is a big help. Wishing you all the best, AP2
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Hoping you’ll find the good that you’re searching for, as well as the good that can come from the places you weren’t. From what I’ve experienced, they can sometimes if not often appear in the most unexpected places. For what it’s worth, I find your posts really interesting, it’s been a honour being given the opportunity to read and draw from them.
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Thank you so much – that means a great deal. You’ve made my day! More than anything else I hope to inspire and help others. I agree that what we learn in life often comes from unexpected sources. For me – understanding that life is only lived in the present moment is crucial. You have to show up for all your emotions – both good and bad – if you are to find peace. It’s so easy to distract ourselves nowadays when things get difficult but I’ve found this only hurts more in the long run. It’s so important to show up for all your emotions – to be with them – to try and understand them and then to let them go. Wishing you all the best 🙏
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