“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief then the circumstances that aroused them in us!”
— MARCUS AURELIUS (MEDITATIONS)
The simplest, most common sense piece of wisdom that the vast majority of people fuck up on a daily basis is this: Don’t make shit worse than it already is.
For example, imagine that a global pandemic ravages the world turning life as we know it on its head (oh wait). Now imagine how much harder it would be if you spent your entire time wishing it hadn’t happened (ah shit). Wishing for a different reality (yep, fucked that one up).
Or imagine that you’ve lost your job. Now imagine how much harder it would be if you spent your time blaming your employer for what happened. Pissing all your savings down the drain in anger. Instead of knuckling under and coming up with a plan. Instead of first accepting the hand you’ve been dealt and then putting in the hard yards so you come out the other side stronger.
It sounds simple, not making shit worse than it already is. However not making shit worse is about having the discipline to face your current reality as it stands. Having the discipline to first accept it.
This is why so many people fuck up this simple common sense piece of wisdom. They don’t practise acceptance (which is hard). They don’t first come to terms with what’s happened. Instead of pausing to have a think – instead of then making a measured response – they react rashly, caving in to impulsivity instead.
In aviation we have a saying: ‘When shit hits the fan, first sit on your hands.’ That’s not to say you should do nothing, but that you should do nothing initially. First sit on your hands and have a think so you don’t do anything stupid (like shutting down the wrong engine when you have an engine failure). To make sure you’re clear about what is happening and what your options are (Like Sully who realised they wouldn’t be able to make the runway if he turned back to LaGuardia or headed toward Teterboro).
There’s something else we use in aviation to help us think clearly when faced with any non normal scenario. I believe it works just as well in everyday life. It’s called the CLEAR model. (If you’re interested I wrote all about it here.) It stands for the following:
C – Clarify what the problem is. (Global pandemic has left me unemployed.)
L – Look for information and ideas. (Search for a new job or do an online course to gain new skills.)
E – Evaluate your options. (Apply for jobs or learn a new skill or binge watch NETFLIX.)
A – Act on your decision. (Binge watch NETFLIX.)
R – Review how it is working. (Enjoying NETFLIX. Will continue to watch NETFLIX until I hate myself then reluctantly look for a new job.)
I believe this is a useful model that helps you first sit on your hands and then gain some much needed clarity before making a decision. Because that’s what you need to do. First accept what has happened and then become clear about your options.
Hopefully this model can help you do that today.
Clear Air Turbulence 
Great read as always!! Heidi
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Thank you Heidi 🙏
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“Don’t make shit worse than it already is.” – That needs to be a universal rule taught to all children.
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Yes! It seems simple but much harder in practise. It’s a bit like when someone is having a bad day and decide to throw in the towel altogether. Instead of salvaging something from it – trying to get something done however small – people think I’ll try again tomorrow. I believe we have the most to learn on the days when things don’t go according to plan. That’s when we get to prove our metal. That we can still take a small step forward to prevent us from falling backward. Thanks Ashley 🙏
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Reminds me of the Stockdale Paradox: maintaining faith that you will prevail while also confronting your current reality. Love your perspective
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Absolutely Kathy! Face reality as it stands today. Remain realistic regarding what you can achieve. Prepare for the worst but don’t hope for the best – but don’t lose hope altogether either! I prefer the idea of being a realist rather than an optimist or a pessimist. Bruce Lee once said, “Do not pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” Wishing you well 🙏
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So much agreement there! As you probably know, the Stockdale Paradox came from Admiral Stockdale, prisoner of war at the “Hanoi Hilton.” He said the optimists were the ones who didn’t survive. Thank you for your reply. Enjoy your posts!
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Great quotes. Great framework for decision making. Great post, AP2!
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Thank you Jane – glad you enjoyed it 🙏
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I really like the CLEAR approach and I can understand how this was instilled in you as part of your aviation training. Good tip to keep in mind for the future!
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Thanks Ab. It’s a useful framework. Wishing you well 🙏
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Today I went through some of your posts they are really very nice you deserve more and more likes and followers 😀
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the encouragement 🙏
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My Pleasure dear 😊
I am your new follower you may also support me by following
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as always a good post.
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🙏
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Loved the Marcus Aurelius quote! ❤ Very good advice in this post, AP. Take care!
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Great post 🙌❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you so much for stopping by 🙏
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