Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post to take a 3 week break and not tell anyone… or care!
Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 thing I’ve been reading, watching or listening to this week that has helped me grow.
As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.
Let’s begin!
3 x Thoughts:
1) The ultimate failure: success without fulfilment.
2) Both the best defence and the best weapon against the voices of hatred is to demonstrate they don’t generate any in your own heart.
3) When someone says something that upsets you – when they’re also upset – take a few breaths, put your hand on your heart and say the following to yourself: “We are both suffering, we both need each other’s help.” During a conflict I’ve found some people tend to either give up all self-respect, or demonstrate a complete lack of it for anyone else. This simple phrase reminds you to extend compassion both ways while also prompting you to try to understand the other side. Of course it’s from understanding that we find forgiveness.
2 x Quotes:
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
– Helen Keller
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
– Mark Twain
1 x Thing:
This interview on Inside Quest with Simon Sinek about why Millennials have been dealt a bad hand and why all of us desperately need to rethink our relationship to our smart phones. If you have 15 mins to spare I highly recommend giving it a watch.
1 x Joke:
My wife, being the dutiful environmentalist that she is, ordered a vegan cake the other night to celebrate our son’s first 100 days of life. (It’s something of a big deal in Chinese tradition.)
Anyway, we started discussing why some vegan substitutes don’t work (like cheese) when my father in law piped up by saying, “Why did they even call it a vegan cake?”
We looked at him a little perplexed.
He continued, “Cakes don’t have meat… of course it’s vegan!”
At this point we all burst into laughter. Of course he was being deadly serious. In his defence he’d had a bit to drink.
After we stopped laughing we cut it up and got stuck in.
The verdict?
Probably would have tasted with meat.
Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.
One bonus question to ponder: Is being offended a choice?
PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:
Clear Air Turbulence 
Thanks for another great Monday article, AP2! Keep ’em coming!
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Thank you Art. I took a little break there – needed to hit the refresh button. Wishing you well 🙏
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Your “thoughts” number three is my definition of social maturity. The drives that keep us alive are fundamentally emotional, so it’s always easiest to fall back on the old-brain when reacting to stress. But objectivity (including about one’s self) is the most essential aspect in effectively approaching conflict.
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That’s such a good way of framing it. “The drives that keep us alive are fundamentally emotional” – I couldn’t agree more. High emotions = low intelligence is something I like to tell myself when I’m feeling stressed/angry. 🙏
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I don’t know about other people but I personally do not get offended even when what might have been said may be construed by others as offensive. If it is true then you are being hypocritical to yourself, about yourself and need to explore that further. And if it is not true then the other person is talking garbage so why upset yourself. The trick is to recognise what is truth. We take offence on board when we are afraid and we become afraid when we fear unmasking, To be offended is to be ego based. If someone says you smell, ask yourself if there is a basis. If there is, be grateful and do something about it if you can. If it is intended to hurt you, then consider the why. If someone says something racist for instance, I have been on the receiving end, I am not offended. Disgusted yes, but mostly sad for the limitations they impose on themselves and I walk away determined to be better in my own life, to take greater care in what I do and say.
Offended can be a personal experience, or it can be a learning one. That is the choice you need to make.
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That is a wonderful summation on the topic of being offended. I often hear people say this or that is offensive. I always ask them, how is that? If someone or something is considered offensive that is subjective. It’s entirely how it challenges your beliefs and perceptions. Which ultimately means it’s a choice you’ve made. What’s worse is I believe in being offended one has given away their power to their very adversary. You’ve made them realise they don’t need sticks and stones because names will do just nicely. As you say – those who take their egos too seriously will have the hardest time with it. I like your thinking about it being a personal or learning experience. I think thats a great way to become curious and seek to resolve/deconstruct the false beliefs that set up that reaction within ourselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Barb 🙏
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I love the quote, ““The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” I hadn’t heard that before, so thanks for sharing!
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🙏
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