Hello lovely readers and welcome back to the Flying Fridays newsletter! The only weekly newsletter that laughs when you fall over before helping you back up…
Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe).
As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!
Let’s begin!
3 x Thoughts:
1) Treat your emotions like you would a child. They’re equally irrational. It’s non judgemental compassion that gets them on side. Getting angry at a child who is throwing a tantrum doesn’t work. So it is with you.
2) The belief that something is wrong with us is central to the issue of feeling bad about feeling bad because that belief brings up more negative emotions (go figure), which we then see as confirmation that something is wrong with us.
3) Attempts to control negative thoughts and emotions makes them worse. Better to concentrate on forming desirable habits instead. Mood follows action.
2 x Quotes:
“For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts and that the world is not so ill with you and me as it might have been is half owing to those who lived faithfully a hidden life and rest in unvisited tombs.”
― George Eliot, MiddleMarch
“Most people die at 25… we just don’t bury them until they are 70.”
—Benjamin Franklin
1 x Thing:
This excerpt from The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg on perception of vulnerability:
Researchers at the University of Mannheim, in Germany, conducted a series of seven experiments in which they had adult participants share information about themselves with one another at varying levels of vulnerability. They repeatedly found that the individual doing the sharing felt that their vulnerability would be perceived as weak, as a negative. But the person on the other end of the conversation, the listener, felt the exact opposite: the more vulnerable the sharer was, the more courageous they perceived him or her to be. The listener viewed vulnerability as an unambiguously positive trait. “Confessing romantic feelings, asking for help, or taking responsibility for a mistake constitute just a few examples of situations that require showing one’s vulnerability,” write the researchers from the University of Mannheim. “Out of fear, many individuals decide against it.” But this, the researchers conclude, is a mistake. “Even when examples of showing vulnerability might sometimes feel more like weakness from the inside, our findings indicate that, to others, these acts might look more like courage from the outside. Given the positive consequences [increased trust and connection, improved learning from others, and forgiveness after making a mistake] of showing vulnerability for relationship quality, health, or job performance, it might, indeed, be beneficial to try to overcome one’s fears and to choose to see the beauty in the mess of vulnerable situations.” The University of Mannheim researchers aptly coined their finding “the beautiful mess effect.”
– Brad Stulberg
1 x Joke:
What did the left eyebrow say to the right eyebrow?
“Between you and me, something smells.”
PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:
3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 29/10/21
Enter your email below and get the Flying Fridays Newsletter delivered to your inbox (almost) every week!
Clear Air Turbulence 
Wow, I absolutely adore this concept of 3-2-1. Enjoyed all of them, they’re also meaningful and deep in their own right. “ Most people die at 25… we just don’t bury them until they are 70.” This one hit me like a rock! So powerful and deep. We do stop living very soon. Benjamin Franklin’s quotes are wonderful.
I don’t get the joke. Is that supposed to be a reference to left-right politics?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for taking the time to read/comment Sam. I appreciate it.
Yeah, that quote hit me in the same way!
The joke is something silly – nothing to do with politics. Something smells refers to one’s nose, as that’s what’s between your left and right eyebrow.
Have a great weekend Sam. Wishing you well 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oops! 😂
Well, technically, the nose is not in between the eyebrows but k, it’s a joke 😂 I would have never got it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohh, that Benjamin Franklin quote is very deep. Made me pause and think. Here’s more power to those who continue to find life and live it well into their last breath.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. It struck me hard too. Thanks Ab! 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
AP, Amazing post! I agree that it takes courage to show vulnerability! Love Ben Franklin…great quote. ❤ All the best!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Cheryl. Wishing you all the best too 🙂🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice one
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLike
Nice joke 😆 it made me laugh 😅
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pleased you enjoyed it 🙂🙏
LikeLike
I really enjoy these 3-2-1 posts, I haven’t read one in a while so I’ll be coming back for the others! That Benjamin Franklin quote… phew, it takes the wind out of you doesn’t it? I found that research piece really interesting – I’d never perceive vulnerability as weak.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that quote hits hard. It takes guts to be vulnerable. I had to go to therapy to do it. Thank you Jenny. I’m glad you enjoyed the post 🙂🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really like the excerpt you have shared from The Practice of Groundedness. Being vulnerable is not something that comes easily in every situation, but does allow for the growth of trust.
It is something my girlfriend has been helping me with, particularly when there’s something on my mind that would benefit from being talked about. It can take a while to find the words, or seem like we’re fumbling our way through them, but the outcome for me had always been worth it so far!
Thank you for sharing this my friend. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Hamish! I agree. It’s not easy
being vulnerable. It requires courage to demonstrate it. But I always feel better getting those difficult thoughts/emotions out in the open.
Hope your doing well Hamish. Thank you for stopping by to read/comment 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person