It occurs to me that I’ve gone through something of a divorce over the past year or so. Only, it’s not been to a person but a place.
Of course, there have been others. York for one. We had a few difficult years together. Then there was Oxford where I went to university. That was a nonstop party.
And I’ve certainly sowed my wild oats. I’ve traveled the world and experienced more cities I can count.
But, ultimately, Hong Kong was the girl I always came back to. There is no city in the world I know more intimately. We’ve been in a long term relationship – on and off – since I was 6 years old.
This has made the changes she’s undergone over the past few years especially painful. After we got married and had kids together everything changed.
She became controlling. She tried to stop me from having an opinion. She even tried to stop me from seeing other people!
In the end it was too much. I decided she wasn’t the right lady to spend the rest of my life with. So, as painful as it was, I filed for divorce.
But what are you supposed to do after such a long relationship? How are you supposed to cope? Should you jump in bed with the next city you find? Should you return to a former lover? Or, should you take some time to have a bit of fun and clear your mind?
I’ve really enjoyed my short time in Singapore so far. I think part of the reason is because I’ve come in with few expectations. Because I’ve taken a no-strings-attached approach.
First impression are good. I’ve very much enjoyed exploring her green leafy back streets in my spare time.
This is, incidentally, one of my favourite pastimes. Usually, before a layover, I would do an inordinate amount of research into places I want to eat.
I would star many of these obscure eateries (often in the middle of nowhere) on google maps. Then I would create a kind of walking foodie tour by connecting the dots.
I would walk far and I would eat well.
It’s something I’ve sorely missed during the past few years of endless quarantine. So, to make up for lost time, that’s what I’ve been doing since I arrived in Singapore.
I’m ecstatic to report that she’s an exceptional chef.
Honestly, the relationship wouldn’t last long if she wasn’t. When it comes to cities, the best way to my heart is through my stomach!
Still, nowhere is perfect and Singapore is no exception. Her parents – namely the government – are known to be particularly heavy handed when punishing certain offenders. That may well be a flag longer term.
With that said, the people here feel looked after for the most part. They have access to cheap affordable housing, excellent medical care and world class education.
Of course, they rinse the expats to make that possible. She ain’t a cheap lady to please! The cost of a beer is enough to make any man cry themselves to sleep. Mainly because he can’t afford to have a beer.
But back to the positive. She’s feels far more relaxed – far more family friendly – in comparison to Hong Kong. That’s certainly something I’m looking for at this stage of my life.
Although it occurs to me that maybe Singapore feels more relaxed because I am? Now that I’ve settled down, not that I’m together with my family again – after a very busy, stressful divorce.
Perhaps I’m simply projecting my feelings onto the place?
At any rate, I don’t care. I’m enjoying myself. The last thing I want to think about is whether or not I will (or should) be here in 5 to 10 years time. We can save that particular conversation for a later date.
For now, I just want sit back, relax and enjoy this fine Singapore fling.
I’ll finish by asking you one of my all time favourite questions: what is your favourite city in the world and why?
***
You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://wiseandshinezine.com
You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com
You can also email him directly at: anxiouspilot2@gmail.com
Clear Air Turbulence 
Absolutely loved reading about your “Singapore fling!” Thanks for sharing with us! 🙏
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Cheers Art – glad you enjoyed it 🙂🙏
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Building a new relationship with a city through its food is always wonderful.
Have you tried the food stall that serves the soya sauce chicken that got a Michelin Star a few years ago (I understand it lost its star last year but still looks delicious): https://www.foodandwine.com/news/michelin-hawker-chan-stall-singapore-loses-star
Hope you’ll share more of the food updates with us.
For me, standout cities in my travels include Beijing, Hong Kong, New York City, Paris, Zurich and Rio de Jainero. And yes, food had a lot to do with the memories. 🙂
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I’ve tried a bunch of hawker places already. There are so many. I’ve heard of this guy although I’ve not tried him yet. I’ve starred it on google maps. Thanks for the share.
Great list of cities. Rio is an awesome town. Combination of beaches, city scape and mountain backdrop. One of the reasons I love Hong Kong too. Thanks for sharing Ab 🙂🙏
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You’ll have to share once you visit.
If you ever the “Crazy Rich Asians” tour, please share that too! 😂
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Maybe I’ll create my own tour for crazy poor expats 😂
I’ll be sure to share when I do 🙏
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What is your favourite city in the world and why?
As a hopeless vagabond who, outside of my childhood, has never put down domicile roots longer than 8 years, my favourite is to attempt to just “…sit back, relax and enjoy…” my current domicile “fling”, and not contemplate “…whether or not I will (or should) be here in 5 to 10 years time…”. . . not an easy task for a inveterate, ,ADHD tumbleweed.
Soooooo, “just sit back, relax and enjoy” your divorce fling AP2 . . . there’s no alimony 😊
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Haha great answer. I’ve always moved around too. Changing horizons is something I feel I need. When it comes to places I dont like to feel tied down. Take it easy Fred 🙏
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Great post, AP2. I hope your newest “relationship” goes really well. Re favourite cities, when I was younger I would have picked London or Montreal, and as a special place maybe even York (!), where I spent 4 years in grad studies. However, in my later years there’s no longer a contest; my favourite city is my own very special small city of Fredericton, New Brunswick! Beautiful, friendly, increasingly multicultural, cultural and recreational facilities, easy to get around, and affordable! 😊
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Yes to all of London, Montreal and York. Quite a varied list of cities you’ve got going there Jane. I’ve never been Fredericton although I have been to Newfoundland. Beautiful part of the world. Thank you for sharing Jane. Wishing you well 🙂🙏
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Obviously I love New York. However, Rome inspires me. But I loved visiting DC last weekend, and visiting Barcelona this year was awesome. I don’t know…I always find something magical in places
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You just listed some of my absolute favs. Rome holds a special place in my heart. I absolutely adore New York too. But I agree with you, there’s always something magical and unique about any place. It’s a tricky question. Like asking what your favourite movie or food is. Thanks LA 🙏
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💗
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I’m so glad you’re enjoying Singapore!! Also, I love the idea of a walking foodie tour. Never thought of creating my own.
I’m not sure if I have a favorite city. Yeah.. don’t believe I do. I moved around a lot as a kid, then some with the military. Honestly, I can’t really say any of the places I’ve lived or visited have been my favorite. I will say that in the mid-nineties, while I was stationed in Florida, I used to pass through Hattiesburg – where I currently live – and say, “This is where I want to retire.” Well… I moved here in 2003 and have been here since, making it the longest place I’ve ever lived. And I guess I actually retired here when I retired from the military.😊 Life.
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Sounds like you had a favourite after all! Walking foodie tours are the best. Many cities have professional outfits that run them. I highly recommend doing some if you like food (and who doesn’t?) – than you for lending your thoughts Shaun. Wishing you well 🙂🙏
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I have travelled and lived many places so I surprise myself by saying Melbourne. My daughter lives there and because she is so busy I have always been left to my own devices. You can walk and walk and walk and if you get tired of your surrounds you can hop on a tram. and go wherever. It felt good to feel so free. It is also a beautiful city and that doesn’t hurt.
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Great choice. Melbourne is a beautiful city. Certainly my favourite in Australia. Thanks for weighing in Barb 🙂🙏
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I forgot to say, the relationship angle was very well done.
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Thank you Barb 😊
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My favorite city is Washington, DC. I like history and culture and both of these pursuits are easily accomplished there. I am like you in that I now find myself in a new and more comfortable home area. I have posted about how I got here and what I’m doing here now on my blog. Please take a look if/when you’re so inclined. https://hbsuefred.com/
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Washington is a great town – one of my favs as as well. I’ll be sure to pop by your blog and have a read. Thank you for sharing 🙂🙏
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Thank you for sharing 😊
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