Mindset Mondays – Clear Air Turbulence

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

July 26, 2021July 26, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that posts every other week…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 thing I’ve been reading, watching or listening to this week that has helped me grow.

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Life is meaningless by design. It’s a blank canvas that you’re suppose paint meaning onto. Keep doing that and you might just create a masterpiece.

(click to tweet)

2) An idea for reviewing goals: Everyday, review your weekly goals. Every week, review your monthly goals. Every month, review your 1 year goals. Every year, review your 5 year goals. Repeat.

(click to tweet)

3) Don’t worry about success or fame or “making it.” The moment you do, you fail to see what success really is. I find it works the same way as happiness. The more you try to chase it, the less likely you are to find it. Live by your principles first and foremost. Concentrate on being a better person and serving a greater cause. Do that and you might just find some of this stuff people call “success.”

(click to tweet)

2 x Quotes:

“When people prattle on about needing to find their “purpose,” what they really mean is that it’s no longer clear what feels important. The question of purpose is really just a question of values.”
– Mark Manson (@IAmMarkManson)

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

1 x Thing:

This Tim Ferris podcast with Dr. Andrew Huberman – A Neurobiologist on Optimizing Sleep, Enhancing Performance, Reducing Anxiety, Increasing Testosterone, and Using the Body to Control the Mind.

If you have the time this podcast is well worth a listen. I found Huberman’s knowledge about using your vision to reduce stress to be particular insightful. There’s a good reason why looking out at vista feels calming!

If you look straight ahead into the distance while trying to expand your vision (try to notice what’s going on in your periphery), it “releases a mechanism in the brain stem involved in vigilance and arousal… You can actually turn off the stress response by changing the way that you are viewing our environment.”

For more about this practise have a read of this article: Broaden Your Vision at Music, Mind & Movement.

1 x Joke:

Another far side comic for you all this week – I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts on this blog. Let us know in the comments below.

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 12/07/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

July 12, 2021July 13, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that makes you feel guilty about shame…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) To avoid pain is to avoid life.

(click to tweet)

2) It’s one thing to learn from guilt – to use that to make you a better person. It is a whole other thing to let guilt tell you you’re not capable of being a better person. Failing to see that difference really is a crying shame.

(click to tweet)

3) You can’t solve the world’s problems until you’ve solved your own. In fact, that is how you solve the world’s problems.

(click to tweet)

2 x Quotes:

“All writers are vain, selfish and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
– George Orwell

“Aging is the extraordinary process of becoming the person you were meant to be.”
-David Bowie

1 x Thing:

This very interesting BBC article by David Robson: Why introverts didn’t actually ‘win’ lockdown. The article challenges the preconception that introverts would thrive in lockdown conditions. As it turns out, quite the opposite is true. Well worth the quick read! Quote below:

“Introverts tend to experience more intense emotions, and they find it harder to regulate those feelings and to adjust to new situations. This means they tend to have poorer emotional wellbeing. Such tendencies may have made them more vulnerable to the stress of the pandemic.”

1 x Joke:

Another aviation themed far side comic for you all this week. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 28/06/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

June 28, 2021June 28, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that encourages you to work when it’s least practical…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Your future dreams don’t negate your present day responsibilities. (click to tweet)

2) There’s a big difference between trying something and experiencing it. The former is usually done from a fear of missing out. The latter is usually done with an open mind – from a place of genuine curiosity. (click to tweet)

3) Admitting you were wrong simply demonstrates you’ve grown as a person, not that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s important to keep reminding yourself that being wrong is the most ordinary thing in the world. (click to tweet)

2 x Quotes:

“The facts tell us what to do and how to do it, but it is our humanity which tells us that we must do something and why we must do it.”
– SULLY SULLENBURGER

“Flourishing depends on active participation in the real world: creating, connecting, and contributing.”
– ADAM GRANT

1 x Thing:

This hilarious Ted Talk with Tim Urban in which he discusses the issue with procrastination and why setting deadlines might be more important than you realise. Well worth a watch!

1 x Joke:

Another far side comic for you all this week – I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 14/06/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

June 14, 2021June 14, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that inspires you to care less…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Giving a shit about everything makes you incapable of solving anything. That’s not to say your shouldn’t give a fuck, but to make sure your fucks are targeted. Then ruthlessly not give a fuck about anything else. The world will be far better off if you do this.

2)The creative process is about expressing your individuality. In order to express the truest version of yourself, you have to stop giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. The best creativity comes about spontaneously – from a place of playful freedom. That means allowing your subconscious mind to express itself through you. That’s how you unlock your creative genius.

3) While we’re on the subject of not giving a fuck, here’s why you shouldn’t give fuck about swearing, or most anything offensive that someone says: Because being offended is a choice. By being offended you give away your power. It lets your enemies know they don’t need sticks and stones to break your bones, because names will do just nicely.

2 x Quotes:

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”
– Aristotle

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.”
~ Shannon L. Adler (SOURCE: https://cheriewhite.blog)

1 x Thing:

This Mark Manson article: How To Be More Productive By Working Less. This article explains why more isn’t necessarily better when it comes to work – and how working too much can actually produce diminishing/negative returns. If you’ve ever found yourself writing in circles to the point that you end up creating more work for yourself – this article is worth your time. Quote from the article below:

“Solving problems is to your mind as food is to your stomach. It needs a variety of stimulation and too much of one kind will cause it to get sick and tired. But what’s amazing is that leisure time—this ability to distract one’s brain away from problem-solving and work—actually makes your brain far more effective upon returning to work.”

1 x Joke:

Another far side comic for you all this week – this one resonated with me on many levels. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus idea: Why not write a give-a-fuck-about list detailing the things you care about most, and then use the process of elimination to cut out everything that’s not on it?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 07/06/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

June 7, 2021June 12, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that enjoys eating its own words.

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Emotions are like tunnels. You have to go through them in order to get to the light on the other side. Resist and you’ll end up stuck in the dark.

2) As a rule: The dumber the question feels, the more it needs to be asked. The only real fool is the one who deliberately remains in the dark.

3) A wining formula for life: Radical Acceptance followed by Meaningful Action.

2 x Quotes:

“In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
— Oscar Wilde

“When the starting point is self-love and self-appreciation, we already give ourselves what we need so we don’t need to try to take it from people.”
–Betul Erbasi (SOURCE: https://pointlessoverthinking.com/2021/05/30/self-appreciation/)

1 x Thing:

This BBC article: Why some narcissists actually hate themselves . The article argues that narcissists – far from loving who they are – actually suffer from issues related to self-hatred. It suggests that this understanding can help us see through their actions and foster compassion for them instead. Well worth the quick read!

1 x Joke:

Another far side comic for you all this week, I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question: How can you make your actions more meaningful today?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 31/05/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

May 31, 2021June 12, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that believes you have to earn self-acceptance…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Something better than hoping your children have a happy life, is hoping they have the strength to deal with a difficult one.

2) Don’t give yourself the satisfaction of complaining. It’s like scratching a mosquito bite. It feels good initially, but only makes things worse. Think in terms of taking action, or practising acceptance instead.

3) You aren’t meant to deny your emotions, you’re meant to negotiate with them. You say, “I understand you don’t want to go for a run, I understand you feel tired, but think about how great you’ll feel afterwards – think about the sense of accomplishment you’ll get once you’re done!” If you ask me, the biggest secret when it comes to self-improvement is self-acceptance. This allows you to work with your emotions, instead of against them. This is also what it means to love yourself. You don’t try to become something more because you feel inadequate, you try to become something more because you love who you are and want to look after that person to the best of your ability.

2 x Quotes:

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
– John Wooden (Source: https://mindfulnessbits.wordpress.com)

“If you want to soar in life, you must learn to F.L.Y ( First Love Yourself )”
– Mark Sterling (Source: https://philosophyvia.photos)

1 x Thing:

This brilliant Ted Talk: How Great Leaders Inspire Action from the author of Start with Why, Simon Sinek. In this episode Simon explains the difference between leaders and those who lead using a simple but powerful model – starting with a golden circle and the question: “Why?” His examples include Apple, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Wright brothers. My favourite quote, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.” I believe his model could just as easily be applied to the world of blogging. Well worth the watch!

1 x Joke:

Another far side comic for you all this week, I hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question: What is your WHY?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 24/05/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

May 24, 2021May 26, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that can’t stop thinking about itself…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) When it comes to taking action, if you can learn to first accept yourself completely, if you can first learn to accept your current reality, it will give you wings.

2) It isn’t what other people think of you that’s the problem, it’s what you think other people are thinking of you, that’s the problem. So allow me clear this up. If the other person doesn’t care about you, they definitely aren’t thinking about you (this applies to the vast majority of people we come into contact). If they do, then what they have to say isn’t something you should worry about, but ask after.

3) A 4 Step Guide For Recovering From Burnout:

Acknowledge The Stall: Say it out-loud. Mention it to someone close. Tell them how you feel. If you feel burnout don’t pretend everything is ok when it’s not. This only makes things worse. You need to first acknowledge your feelings.
Point The Nose Down: Stop doing what you’re doing and take the time to process your emotions. How do you do that? By being kind to yourself – by accepting them. Then, by utilising your support networks – by talking to your friends and family who want nothing more than to make you feel better.
Add Thrust: If you try to climb too soon there’s a danger you could stall again. You need to make sure you have enough energy by taking the time to rest and repair. How do you do that? By getting a good night’s sleep, by eating a wholesome diet, by doing some exercise, etc. This might include other activities that make you feel rested, such as going for a walk in nature, reading a book, meditating or journalling, etc.
Stabilise: When you’re ready to go back to work remember to take it slow. If you point the nose up too quickly you could re enter the stall. You want to find your optimum pace. Pointing the nose down slightly when you start to feel stressed is often enough to prevent it from happening again. It will also allow to fly higher and further. (80% effort is more sustainable than 100%.)

2 x Quotes:

“The art of not reading is a very important one. It consists in not taking an interest in whatever may be engaging the attention of the general public at any particular time. When some political or ecclesiastical pamphlet, or novel, or poem is making a great commotion, you should remember that he who writes for fools always finds a large public. A precondition for reading good books is not reading bad ones: for life is short”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

“My personal message to people is that I hope they will go towards self-actualization rather than self-Image actualization. I hope they will search within themselves for honest self-expression.”
– Bruce Lee

1 x Thing:

This short TED Talks podcast episode: The cure for burnout (hint: it isn’t self-care) with Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski. In this episode sisters Emily and Amelia detail three signs that stress is getting the best of you – and share actionable ways to feel better when you’re burning out. Notes below.

3 Symptoms Of Burnout:

Depersonalisation – where you distance yourself emotionally from your work.
Decreased sense of accomplishment – where you fail to see the purpose of your work.
Emotional exhaustion – when you feel overwhelmed and on edge all the time.

The Cure:

We need to show ourselves self-compassion. You have to process/express the emotions/stress in your body otherwise it builds up.
We also need each other. We’ve been taught that we’re stronger when we’re alone and strong and independent. It’s simply not true. We are strongest when we have a close support network.

1 x Joke:

Today I bring you a BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN:

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that those who have contracted the new Indian COVID variant will be offered the new Pun Jab.

He said, “We must start taking this variant more seriously. There are several reports of people having gone into kormas. Others have had to bury their naans!”

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question: How do you recognise the stall? What can you do to prevent it from happening?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 10/05/21

88 Insights About Life

May 17, 2021July 20, 2021AP2

Almost every week for the past year I’ve put 3 or 4 random thoughts together in a post called Mindset Mondays. Below is a highlight reel.

Whether you just read the first few, pick some at random, or grab a cuppa and dig deep – I hope you find some value here.

If any of them resonate then please drop us a line in comments section below. Equally, if you have some gems of your own please share – I’d love to hear them.

Happy Monday all! X

You can never be perfect. You can always be better.
The moment you fix your beliefs you imprison your mind.
By not addressing our own suffering we cause it in others.
Focus has more to do with eliminating distraction than it does with effort.
If you don’t give yourself real problems to solve your mind will make some up.
A good time is worth more than any material possession.
The change the world needs from you is for you to change, not for you to change the world.
Forget to-do lists, make a get to-do list instead.
When thinking in terms of being right, you’ve lost. When thinking in terms of trying to learn something, you’ve won.
Forcing your views on others doesn’t make you right.
Strength of character is the ability to remain true to yourself when things are going against you.
The most important resource that gets stolen from you = attention.
Success isn’t achieving something, success is enjoying achieving something.
Having a routine = A commitment to improvement.
Praise is the enemy of progress if handed out thoughtlessly. Praise should be a reward that’s earned through hard work.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking what others want from you is what you want to give.
The best thing you can do to honour life is pay attention to it.
Try not to simply think outside the box, but destroy it entirely.
The need to be right is the ego equivalent of being on crack. It’s both extremely addictive and extremely damaging.
The great thing about momentum is that it builds naturally, like a boulder rolling down the hill. The difficult part is getting it to move in the first place.
Make it your mission to be an agent of calm in the midst of chaos. When the storm settles you will be well placed to pick up the pieces and put the world back together.
The beauty of a moment comes from its impermanence. The moment you cling to it, it’s destroyed.
You’re either trying to be a better person or you’re not. There is no such thing as a “good person.”
A deliberately easy life makes us unhappy because it makes us weaker. Conversely a deliberately difficult life makes us happy because it builds resilience. It also helps us appreciate the everyday things that most people take for granted.
The arguments you have in your head are pointless if you only have them with yourself. Speak up or let go.
Laughing at someone else’s expense demonstrates your own insecurities. Conversely, the ability to laugh at yourself demonstrates resilience.
What matters is that we make amends for our past in the present moment for the future world.
If you can improve your life knowing you already have enough, then future failures will hurt less and future successes will bring more joy.
For all wannabe bloggers: Forget the numbers and speak from your heart. Forget the numbers and concentrate on making connections. Forget the numbers and enjoy the journey.
If you complain you suffer twice. If you blame you deny yourself the opportunity to learn. If you give up both of those habits you’ll go far.
It’s difficult to love other people if you don’t love yourself. It’s difficult to love yourself if you don’t love other people. It works both ways.
Freedom demands we choose our responsibilities. The same way that having a life demands we protect it. If you want freedom of choice then you have to choose to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t, someone else will choose your responsibilities for you. The danger is they will use that for their own profit and power by forming a narrative you refused to take responsibility for forming yourself. In doing so they will shut your mind from your heart. The moment that happens you’ve lost your freedom.
It’s not a matter of quality over quantity. I believe that quantity produces quality amongst a sea of mediocrity. The greatest artists produce far more average work than they do masterpieces. The point is though, they produce far more work.
It’s far easier to help those who actually ask for it.
When you’ve only suffered enough to know what misery is, but not enough to know what for, then you must endure a while longer. Keep searching for the meaning and you will find your salvation.
There isn’t an inverse correlation between success and failure. The more you fail in life, the more you succeed. If you’re not failing it simply means you’re not trying as hard as you should. If you ask me, the only real failure in life is not trying. You need to put yourself in positions where you have to fail in order to succeed.
Creativity has nothing to do with being the best but expressing your individuality. This is what makes the creative process so beautiful. It’s also what makes imitation such a terrible waste of your talents. There will always be someone who can do it better, but no-one who can do it the same.
What the world needs from you and what society expects are two very different things.
What if the only thing that is wrong with you is that you think there is something wrong with you?
Sit down every night and pat yourself on the back for the things you did well, then examine the ways in which you could have done things better. Bring both your sense of accomplishment and willingness to improve into your next day.
Intelligent self-interest is understanding we are all part of the same world – that to hurt another is to hurt yourself. I would go so far as to say, how you treat others is how you treat yourself. Kindness expressed outwards extends inwards as well.
The greater your understanding of how small you are, the bigger the person you become.
People will always believe a confident lier over those who whimper the truth.
The cost of convenience is your resilience.
Competition is about pushing each other to improve. It’s about personal and collective growth. When we glorify it and make it about “winning at all costs” we turn people off. This defeats the purpose. Not only are those who compete weaker because they have less competition, those who don’t compete lose the ability to better themselves altogether. Don’t compete to win, compete to grow.
Never forget that someone built the road you drive on.
People won’t accept rocks that are hurled at them – they’ll either duck and hide, or throw them back.
Courage is acting from a place of love, doing what you know to be right, not in the absence of fear, but because of it.
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger if that’s your attitude, otherwise it will make you weaker.
Ignorance is bliss… but only for you, for everyone else it’s miserable.
Knowledge alone isn’t enough. What you need is insight. Insight is what will set you free.
If you’re not talking to yourself as you would your own family then perhaps you’re not showing yourself the compassion you should? And if you are, perhaps you’re not being as honest with yourself as you should?
Attachments/Wanting = Unhappiness. Letting go/Generosity = Happiness.
The time to start is now and thing to do is the one that scares you the most.
Success is what we alone define.
The mind is hardwired to keep you alive. It’s far more interested in your survival than achieving any sort of lasting happiness. That’s why it keeps tricking you.
There is always a silver lining. You just have to look for it.
Expressing gratitude is the best way to interpret reality – for the fact that we are alive is an extraordinary miracle.
The problem with regret is that it takes you away from the present moment. Yet that’s exactly where all the opportunities lie to put things right.
In a world where people are so afraid of what others think, honesty will take you far.
We’re a society that loves to say the right thing without doing it. We need be one that does the right thing, with no need to say it.
Emotion is a writer’s best friend.
When you accept yourself for who you are you’re still aware that you can become something more. You still understand the benefits of becoming. The difference is you don’t attribute a threat level response to your actions.
What follows a generation who got things wrong is one that understands why they must not make the same mistakes.
An exercise in critical thought: Write down your opinions on a subject exactly as you think them. However outlandish, just put it down on paper and argue your side. Then go about proving it wrong in every conceivable way. Do the research, find the facts and consider the opinions that contradict your argument.
Trying to create motivation is massively overrated. Trying to gain clarity is massively underrated.
If you want to go up you have to overcome gravity.
Original thought is often going ‘what if…’ and then thinking the exact opposite of what everybody else is.
The art of conversation is about making the other person feel heard.
Knowledge is power but imagination is freedom.
When doing something that makes you anxious it’s important to tell yourself that you can. Not because this will ease the nerves, but because when you manage to pull off the task that you’ve been dreading, instead of feeling relief, you will gain confidence.
You don’t always get to choose your problems in life, however, you always get to choose how you interpret and respond to those problems.
Moving an inch forward prevents you falling a mile backward.
If you miss the opportunity to appreciate the moment don’t stress, the next moment comes free of charge.
You have to stop pouring water in your glass if you want to drink from it.
Maybe we should imagine losing our loved ones in a car accident? Maybe we should take the time to imagine losing everything we hold dear? Maybe imagining the worst is exactly what brings what’s right in front of us, sharply into focus? Maybe meditating on our mortality – our own inevitable demise – is exactly what gives us freedom in the present? Maybe we will find more joy in everyday life by embracing these difficult emotions rather than chasing after a bigger pay check or slimmer waistline? What do you think?
Learn to love yourself before you start searching for your knight in shining armour. That way you won’t need them to be your knight in shining armour. That way you’ll have realistic expectations going into your next relationship and the strength to deal with it should it fall apart.
When you compare yourself to others you reject who you are.
Kindness is not about avoiding conflict at all costs. Kindness is not about telling white lies so you don’t have to hurt someone else’s feeling. That’s not kindness, that’s cowardice.
Contacting a friend a day keeps the demons at bay.
I have two cycles for you. The first I like to call the Positive Cycle Of Hope. It looks like this: Hope inspires action that creates positive results that generates more hope (repeat). The second I like to call the Negative Cycle Of Hopelessness. It looks like this: Hope coupled with an inability (or unwillingness) to take action creates (99% of the time) negative results that generates feelings of despair and hopelessness (circle back to point 2 and repeat). The point I want to make? Hope must be tied to action otherwise it’s dangerous.
Be careful what you say yes to in life. Often it’s the things we acquire for security that ends up imprisoning us.
It’s funny how giving away everything for nothing in return gives you everything you want.
The two most important things are your family and today. Connect the dots.
If you only ever live in the moment, why would you rush it?
In your attempts to avoid suffering you suffer more.
Those who refuse to acknowledge their parent’s shortcomings are bound to repeat them.
Both the best defence and the best weapon against the voices of hatred is to demonstrate they don’t generate any in your own heart.

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

May 10, 2021May 15, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that doesn’t know what day it is…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) It often takes more courage to land back on earth than it does to get airborne.

2) Till the day we die we remain a work in progress. To think otherwise is dangerous and yet, we must also learn to accept ourselves as we are today. We must learn to accept we will never be perfect because there is no such thing. Striving to become a better person while accepting and being proud of who you already are is one of life’s great paradoxes. This is also the definition of someone with a secure self-esteem.

3) A 4 step guide to conflict resolution:

Start with a positive: Mention something you agree with. Something you admire or respect in the other person. Mention a positive to begin with. This encourages them to listen.
Be the first to apologise: Mention something you regret saying or doing. Something you did that wasn’t particularly skilful. Mention something about yourself you’re aware needs work. Be the first to apologise for something (anything). This serves to disarm the other person.
Express your feelings/reasoning. Say what it is you disagree with, what it is the other person said or did that upset you. Help them understand why it is you feel this way.
Ask for their support and understanding. Mention that it’s possible your perceptions are wrong and that you want some clarification. Ask them to help you become a better person. Ask them to help you understand them better. Ask them what you can do to make amends.

2 x Quotes:

“Blame is always a limiting, contracting, fault-finding energy. It’s always rooted in the need to be right.”
– JIM DETHMER

“Ask yourself what’s not wrong?”
– THICH NHAT HANH

1 x Thing:

This brilliant post by Kevin Kelly, “99 Additional Bits of Unsolicited Advice.” Last year he wrote a similar post that went viral called “68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice” that I absolutely loved. When I saw this I immediately made myself a coffee and sat down to read it. Well worth your time. I’ve listed a few of my favourites below:

“That thing that made you weird as a kid could make you great as an adult — if you don’t lose it.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. At your funeral people will not recall what you did; they will only remember how you made them feel.
“Your passion in life should fit you exactly; but your purpose in life should exceed you. Work for something much larger than yourself.
“You are given the gift of life in order to discover what your gift *in* life is. You will complete your mission when you figure out what your mission is. This is not a paradox. This is the way.
“Take one simple thing — almost anything — but take it extremely seriously, as if it was the only thing in the world, or maybe the entire world is in it — and by taking it seriously you’ll light up the sky.”

1 x Joke:

Have another far side comic for you this week in celebration of Mother’s Day yesterday. They’re always so proud aren’t they? (Love you mum x)

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to ponder: What have you achieved in life that makes you feel proud? Remember that as you go about your week.

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 03/05/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

May 3, 2021June 12, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that believes you should spend less time looking at screens, but more time visiting my blog…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) The happy medium in life comes from doing something you’re willing to suffer for in the service of others.

2) Confidence comes from doing what you say you’re going to do. Two rules with that in mind. 1 – Don’t give yourself too much to do. Better to feel like you did more than you intended than less. 2 – Make sure you do at least some of what you intended. i.e. If you meant to exercise but find you only have 2 mins to spare, then do 5 push-ups. Or, if you have a busy day and only have time to do 1 min of meditation in the morning then fine, just do that. Either way make sure you do something. Moving an inch forward does more for your confidence than you realise. At least now you’ve given yourself something to build on for tomorrow.

3) 3 questions to help you find balance:

Do I need to cultivate more lift? (Purpose, meaning, socialising with friends and family, volunteer work, etc.)
Do I need to generate more thrust? (Get more sleep, meditate, diet change, downtime, mental, physical health, etc.)
Do I need to carry less weight? (The amount of work you’re doing, number of commitments, finances, etc.)

2 x Quotes:

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.“
– JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI

“To do or not to do? To try or not to try? Most people will vote no, whether they consider themselves brave or not. Uncertainty and the prospect of failure can be very scary noises in the shadows. Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.”
– TIM FERRIS

1 x Thing:

This CEO Magazine article: The everyday device in your home killing hundreds around the globe. Can you guess what that device is? This article will make you aware how damaging your smart phone really is, especially for your mental health. It will also make you think twice about putting one in the hands of your children. If you don’t have the time to read it, here are a few quotes:

“Anyone over the age of 10 is already unable to imagine a world without smartphones, and as they grow into adolescence, they are likely to be gifted one of these dangerous yet vital devices by their own parents… This is “like giving them cocaine or heroin”, according to David Gillespie, the author of Teen Brain – Why Screens Are Making Your Teenager Depressed, Anxious And Prone to Lifelong Addictive Illnesses – And How to Stop it Now.
“Between 2007 and now, the rates of teenage pregnancy, and alcohol and cigarette use by teens all dropped – they’re all about half of what they were, it’s a huge achievement and I don’t know why we’re not talking more about it,” he says. “The rates of anxiety and depression for teenagers should also be halving but, instead, the rates of those things in teens have actually doubled over the same period.”
“These devices were designed from day one, by Steve Jobs and company, to be “beautiful, easy to use and hard to give up”. And, knowing how addictive they would become, Jobs famously declared that he wouldn’t let his own children near them…”

1 x Joke:

No terrible joke this week so thought I’d leave you with this awesome xkcd comic instead. I think it’s fair to say we’ve all been there!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to ponder: What changes can you make to help curb the amount of time you spend on your phone? What could you do with that time instead?

PS: Happy screen free week everyone!

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 26/04/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

April 26, 2021April 26, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that you should take with a pinch of salt…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Something to think about: In your attempts to avoid suffering you suffer more.

2) Those who refuse to acknowledge their parent’s shortcomings are bound to repeat them.

3) Expectations – that’s your problem! Expectations of a clean, perfect, fair world. Of kindness from strangers. For people to treat you a particular way. When the world doesn’t meet these expectations your happiness gets checked. Drop all expectations of your external world and instead turn the spotlight inward. Get your house in perfect order before you even consider criticising the world. In fact, as a rule for life, give up blaming and give up complaining. Take full responsibility for your problems. Concentrate only on your circle of control. Make peace with the rest of it.

2 x Quotes:

“Your perception of me, is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.”
– UNKNOWN

“Pure attention without judgement is not only the highest form of human intelligence, but also the expression of love.”
– JIDDU KRISHNAMURTI

1 x Thing:

This Mark Manson article: How To Break Hearts and Risk Losing Everything. The article explores why the hard questions in life appear difficult to anyone who has them, but appear easy to anyone who does not. For anyone who is contemplating a major life decision I can recommend giving it a quick read. 3 of my fav quotes below:

“The person who is forever obsessed with their own feelings and satisfaction is a person who is unable to look outside themselves, a person who is unable to take on the perspectives and feelings of others as their own, a person who is unable to hold values beyond their own credit and gain.
“When choosing what to do with your life, emotions can’t be your only reasons. Feel your emotions but do not allow yourself to be defined by your emotions. Acknowledge the feeling and then act based on something more than the feeling.
“There is a difference between what we are capable of doing and what we allow ourselves to do. We often don’t recognize that difference.”
– MARK MANSON

1 x Joke:

My wife was trying to rock my son to sleep the other day so I gave her his dummy to help out.

I said, “You know why they call it a dummy don’t you?”

She replied, “No, why?”

I said, “Because it’s not a real nipple, you dummy!”

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to ponder: What are you willing to suffer for?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 19/04/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

April 19, 2021April 19, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post to take a 3 week break and not tell anyone… or care!

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) The ultimate failure: success without fulfilment.

2) Both the best defence and the best weapon against the voices of hatred is to demonstrate they don’t generate any in your own heart.

3) When someone says something that upsets you – when they’re also upset – take a few breaths, put your hand on your heart and say the following to yourself: “We are both suffering, we both need each other’s help.” During a conflict I’ve found some people tend to either give up all self-respect, or demonstrate a complete lack of it for anyone else. This simple phrase reminds you to extend compassion both ways while also prompting you to try to understand the other side. Of course it’s from understanding that we find forgiveness.

2 x Quotes:

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
– Helen Keller

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
– Mark Twain

1 x Thing:

This interview on Inside Quest with Simon Sinek about why Millennials have been dealt a bad hand and why all of us desperately need to rethink our relationship to our smart phones. If you have 15 mins to spare I highly recommend giving it a watch.

1 x Joke:

My wife, being the dutiful environmentalist that she is, ordered a vegan cake the other night to celebrate our son’s first 100 days of life. (It’s something of a big deal in Chinese tradition.)

Anyway, we started discussing why some vegan substitutes don’t work (like cheese) when my father in law piped up by saying, “Why did they even call it a vegan cake?”

We looked at him a little perplexed.

He continued, “Cakes don’t have meat… of course it’s vegan!”

At this point we all burst into laughter. Of course he was being deadly serious. In his defence he’d had a bit to drink.

After we stopped laughing we cut it up and got stuck in.

The verdict?

Probably would have tasted with meat.

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to ponder: Is being offended a choice?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 29/03/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

March 29, 2021March 29, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that tells you to chase your dreams before taking a nap…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) Be careful what you say yes to in life. Often it’s the very things we acquire for security that ends up imprisoning us.

2) One thing that’s worse than not feeling listened to is feeling misunderstood. If you disagree with someone you should seek to understand them. Speak up and say what you believe is right – of course. But listen to what they have to say as well. Be curious. Seriously consider their point of view however outlandish it may seem. They might just help to break down your own limited beliefs. Which we all have! Even if that’s not true you might, with tact, be able to help them with their own demons.

3) Chasing your dreams isn’t about achieving your dreams. Chasing your dreams is about enjoying the journey. It’s about cultivating greater gratitude and joy for the here and now. It’s about loving what you do. That’s why you should chase you dreams. It’s in the chasing that you’ll discover what you were after. If you make everything about the end result – the title or the big house – you’ll miss the journey. Worse, you’ll end up resenting it. Society’s idea of success has little to do with ones actual dreams. When you see that you’ll realise why failure shouldn’t concern you. And you will fail. You will meet obstacles. You will have set backs. No matter what it is you chase after. At least by doing what you love the successes along the way are more rewarding and the failures more bearable.

2 x Quotes:

“If you see through yourself you will see through everyone. Then you will love them.”

– Anthony De Mello

“He who dares not offend cannot be honest.”
– Thomas Paine

1 x Thing:

This fascinating BBC article on The surprising downsides of empathy. The main argument is that empathy distorts our decision making ability – preventing us from making rational decisions. It concludes by arguing for compassion but against empathy. Well worth the quick read!

“Researchers have found that misplaced empathy can be bad for you and others, leading to exhaustion and apathy, and preventing you from helping the very people you need to. Worse, people’s empathetic tendencies can even be harnessed to manipulate them into aggression and cruelty.”

1 x Joke:

I was tickling my infant son the other day while saying, “Goochie goochie goo.”

My wife commented, “It’s pronounced Coochie, not Goochie!”

I replied, “Not for our baby it’s not!”

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“Because he’s clearly a designer baby!”

…

“Get it? Goochie…”

My wife wasn’t impressed.

Still, at least my son seemed to enjoy it.

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to finish: What does your dream look like? What does it mean to you?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 22/03/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

March 22, 2021March 23, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that believes you should become a minimalist by giving it all your stuff…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) It’s funny how giving away everything for nothing in return gives you everything you want.

2) Mental and physical health are intrinsically linked. Looking after both for the sake of each other should be your first priority every day. (Try meditation, exercise, journalling…)

3) The more shit you have, the more shit you have to worry about. Don’t aim to have lots in life. Aim to have the few things you desire the most. Then learn to get as much joy and love out of those things as you possibly can. Cut out the rest. Less really is more.

2 x Quotes:

“Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust. Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next, and the joy of the game of living.”
Samuel Ullman, a Jewish poet

“…having an enviable career is one thing, and being a happy person is another. Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential – as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”
Bill Watterson, the cartoonist and creator of Calvin and Hobbes

1 x Thing:

This brilliant art of manliness article: Via Negativa: Adding to Your Life By Subtracting. The article argues that the path to becoming a better person is often found by subtracting the negative from our lives. Well worth the quick read. A couple of quotes listed below:

“Don’t ask yourself “What am I going to do to be a better man?” or “What kind of man do I want to be?” Invert those questions and ask “What am I NOT going to do to be a better man?” and “What kind of man do I NOT want to be?”

“Eliminating obvious downsides like bad habits and debt will provide a good life; eliminating good things so you can focus on the very best will lead to a truly flourishing life.“

1 x Joke:

Have another far side comic for this week folks. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know in the comments section below.

One bonus question to finish: What can you subtract from your life to make it better?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 15/03/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

March 15, 2021March 15, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post to plan its own funeral…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

3 x Thoughts:

1) The two most important things are your family and today. Connect the dots.

2) What if we all had the same colour skin? What if we all ate the same food? What if we all had the same job? What if we believed in the same God? What if we were all exactly the same? People often talk about the need to focus on our similarities instead of fixating on our differences. If you ask me, I reckon we should celebrate our diversity. We should each be proud of our unique qualities. That’s exactly what makes this fucked up world such an interesting place. In essence we are all the same (which is important to stress), but thank God none of us actually are.

3) Love was nature’s antidote to prevent our own fears from destroying ourselves. It was designed to give us the courage to overcome our own fear of death so we can protect what it is we love – our offspring. Or – historically – our tribe, or our country, or our religion (whatever represents our larger self.) But here we have to be careful. Because what you are willing to die for, you are willing to kill for. That is a brutal reality check. (Come between a mother bear and its cubs and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.) Too much fear and it consumes us – yes. But too much love can blind us. There is a balance. We need to be careful about what our love for country, or religion, or partner is telling us. Sometimes your fears are right and your love is wrong. In a society that makes a hero of one and a villain of the other I believe this has messed up our thinking somewhat. It’s not that one is good and the other is bad, but that both have their place. Often neither of them do. Trusting rational thought over emotion is a good rule of thumb in the modern age.

2 x Quotes:

“Sometimes as an antidote
To fear of death,
I eat the stars.”
– Rebecca Elson

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: ‘Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.’”
— Maya Angelou

1 x Thing:

1) This moving video by Jim Carrey about who you really are. His point about taking a chance on who you are versus killing your true self certainly struck a chord. Hope you enjoy!

1 x Joke:

My old man cooked us fish and chips for dinner the other night. While he was halfway through cooking I asked, “What happened here? Did you get in a fight?”

My dad replied, “What do you mean?”

I said seriously, “This fish has clearly been battered dad.”

My mum who over heard the conversation shook her head while saying, “Oh cod.”

It’s fair to say we all had a whale of a time.

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know below.

One bonus question to finish:

What’s something unique about yourself that you’re proud of?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 08/03/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

March 8, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that forces you to consider the purpose of hate…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

(As a way to give credit and to say thank you, I’ve linked back to any posts that have inspired my thoughts. I’ve linked back to any quotes I’ve found as well.)

3 x Thoughts:

1) If you only ever live in the moment, why would you rush it?

2) There is a direct relationship between responsibility and freedom. The more responsibility you take for your life the more freedoms are afforded to you – both internally and externally. Of course that means coming to terms with past traumas – that means facing some very difficult inner demons. However, everything we want (which is ultimately inner peace) is the other side of taking responsibility for the hand we’ve been dealt. At its core, I believe this is everyone’s Everest in life.

3) You cannot fight hate with hate because hate begets hate. It’s the same as fighting fire with fire. As war has proven throughout history. Unless hate succeeds in eliminating its perceived threat, then that hatred is only going to build. What’s worse is that hate won’t be resolved by eliminating that threat if it does (which is impossible when considering an entire race of people). And then what happens? Hate looks for a new target. And if it can’t find one, it turns on itself. (Insert caracatiure of Hitler shooting himself here.) This is why hate always loses. Not because love always wins, but because hate ends up destroying itself. Love has to be returned in its place, otherwise we all lose.

2 x Quotes:

“There is a wonderful, almost mystical, law of nature that says three of the things we want most—happiness, freedom, and peace of mind—are always attained when we give them to others. Give it away to get it back.”
– John Wooden

‘The life you want starts with being grateful for the life you have.’”
— Rob Bell

1 x Thing:

1) This Mark Manson article: Fuck Your Feelings. Gotta love Mark for telling it as it is. In this article Mark explains why doing things because it feels good is rarely good for you. Far better to align your actions around what you believe is actually good/right and, well, fuck your feelings. Well worth the 10 minute read. (I particularly liked his meta-feelings chart which I’ve added below.)

Meet Your Meta-Feelings:

Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad (Self-Loathing)– Excessive self-criticism – Anxious/Neurotic behavior – Suppression of emotions – Engage in a lot of fake niceness/politeness – Feeling as though something is wrong with you.	Feeling Bad About Feeling Good (Guilt)– Chronic guilt and feeling as though you don’t deserve happiness. – Constant comparison of yourself to others – Feeling as though something should be wrong, even if everything is great. – Unnecessary criticism and negativity.
Feeling Good About Feeling Bad (Self-Righteousness)– Moral indignation – Condescension towards others – Feeling as though you deserve something others don’t. – Seeking out a constant sense of powerlessness and victimization.	Feeling Good About Feeling Good (Ego/Narcissism)– Self-congratulatory – Chronically overestimate yourself; a delusionally-positive self-perception – Unable to handle failure or rejection – Avoids confrontation or discomfort – Constant state of self-absorption

1 x Joke:

Struggling for a good joke this week so thought I’d leave you with another far side comic. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know below.

One bonus question to finish:

What do you need to take responsibility for today that isn’t your fault? What’s the best way to do that?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 22/02/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

February 22, 2021February 23, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that doesn’t completely hate itself…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

(As a way to give credit and to say thank you, I’ve linked back to any posts that have inspired my thoughts. I’ve linked back to any quotes I’ve found as well.)

3 x Thoughts:

1) One needs to accept life as it stands today. Radically. In all of its fucked-up glory. And then act in whatever capacity one can to better his or her circumstances. But even that shouldn’t come at the expense of appreciating what one currently has. As a rule for life, I suggest you practice gratitude long before you start hoping in the morning.

2) Maybe we should imagine losing our loved ones in a car accident tomorrow? Maybe we should take the time to imagine losing everything we hold dear? Maybe imagining the worst is exactly what brings what’s right in front of us, sharply into focus? Maybe meditating on our mortality, our own inevitable demise is exactly what gives us freedom in the present? Maybe it’s doing this which reminds us how good we actually have it right now? Maybe we will find more joy in everyday life by embracing these difficult emotions rather than chasing after a bigger pay check or slimmer waistline? What do you think?

3) The next time you get angry at your racist grandfather – or any elderly person who appears to be stuck in his or her ways – consider the possibility that their contempt has less to do with what they believe than it does their inability to come to terms with their own mortality. This knowledge might just give you the strength to return love for hate.

2 x Quotes:

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
– Mark Twain

“Even if you’re going to live three thousand more years, or ten times that, remember: you cannot lose another life than the one you’re living now, or live another one than the one you’re losing. The longest amounts to the same as the shortest. The present is the same for everyone; its loss is the same for everyone; and it should be clear that a brief instant is all that is lost. For you can’t lose either the past or the future; how could you lose what you don’t have?”
— Marcus Aurelius (Meditations)

1 x Thing:

1) This Psychology Today article: Why We Fear Death and How to Overcome It. As the title suggest this article explores some surprising reasons behind why it is some of us fear death (and why others don’t). It also outlines 4 ways (listed below) to overcome your own fear of mortality.

Help to nurture and raise younger generations: “The term “generativity” refers to a concern for younger people and a desire to nurture and guide them. When older people have a greater sense of generativity, they tend to also look back on their life without regret or anguish. This, understandably, leads to having less fear of death.”
Talk about it: It turns out that avoidance (surprise surprise) causes it to loom larger in our minds. Like all fears its best to bring them into the light. Don’t avoid the topic – talk about. Imagine it. Prepare for its inevitably.
Have a (simulated) out of body or near death experience: Perhaps seeking out a near death experience isn’t the greatest advice but trying to have an out of body experience (via deep meditation for example) can yield similar results. The idea is that it gives us the sense that we live on even when separated from out bodies.
Cultivate greater meaning in your life: Studies show that those who feel they are living a meaningful life are less afraid of death. I suggest you start by defining your values and then looking to see how you can better build your life around them.

1 x Joke:

Struggling for a good joke this week so thought I’d leave you with another far side comic. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know below.

One bonus question to ponder:

Is it death that you fear, or not having lived in the first place?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 15/02/21

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

February 15, 2021February 15, 2021AP2

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays! The only weekly post that didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with his wife…

As a bonus I’ve finished with 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good.

Let’s begin!

(As a way to give credit and to say thank you, I’ve linked back to any posts that have inspired my thoughts. I’ve linked back to any quotes I’ve found as well.)

3 x Thoughts:

1) You know “the one” that everybody keeps searching for? I’m sorry to break it to you, doesn’t exist. Disney fucked us with their love stories that end “happily ever after.” While we’re at it, you don’t simply fall in love and then life is complete. This is a fantasy of the highest order. Relationships require a huge amount of sacrifice. They require constant nurturing. They require honest and open communication. It’s a process that never ends. One that requires so much more than love alone. If your expectation going into a new relationship is that the other person will “complete you,” you are setting yourself up for bitter disappointment. Your expectations are out of whack. I would add that if you feel you need someone else, that you spend your time learning to love yourself before you start searching for your knight in shining armour. That way you won’t need them to be your knight in shining armour. That way you’ll have realistic expectations going into your next relationship and the strength to deal with it should it fall apart.

2) Is it better to have loved and lost or never loved at all? I think better than both of those is to have loved and lost and then found love again. That way you’ve grown – you’ve learnt what heartbreak is and that you can withstand it. Furthermore you’ve learnt what your new love requires – constant nurturing. If pushed to choose however, I would take loved and lost. Ignorance might be bliss but to have loved and lost and survived is what makes you stronger. That’s more important. If you’re suffering from heartbreak keep that in mind. The other side of your suffering is a stronger person.

3) Comparing ourselves with others is the first step to giving up. There will always be someone more talented, more accomplished, more proficient… It’s good to look at how you can improve and of course it’s helpful to look at how the most successful are doing things. But we should be careful not to compare. Why? Because when you compare yourself to others you reject who you are. I suggest you think in terms of drawing inspiration instead. And then simply concentrate on becoming a little better than the person you were yesterday. In fact, only compare yourself with the person you were yesterday. That’s enough. (Inspired by: https://mentalhealthathome.org/2021/01/10/impressed-other-bloggers/)

2 x Quotes:

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr

“If we can forgive what’s been done to us… If we can forgive what we’ve done to others… If we can leave our stories behind. Our being victims and villains. Only then can we maybe rescue the world.”
— Chuck Palahniuk

1 x Thing:

1) This Mark Manson article: Love Is Not Enough. This article challenges the belief that “love is all you need.” To quote, “When we believe that “love is not enough,” then we understand that healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.” Well worth the 10 minute read! A few of my favourite quotes below.

“The only way you can fully enjoy the love in your life is to choose to make something else more important in your life than love.”

“Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy. But like any other experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. Like any other experience, it cannot be allowed to define us, our identities or our life purpose. We cannot let it consume us. We cannot sacrifice our identities and self-worth to it. Because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves.”

1 x Joke:

Struggling for a good joke this week so thought I’d leave you with another far side comic. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks ladies and gentlemen. I’m here all week! I sincerely hope you all had a romantic weekend with your loved ones. As always I welcome ALL thoughts and opinions on this blog. Please let us know below.

One bonus question to finish:

What would you say to your partner if it was your last day on earth? (Now go ahead and say it.)

PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 08/02 /21