3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that never gives up – even when all hope is lost!

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) We’re taught to do things to please our parents for survival. When we eventually grow up we realise we don’t have to do things to please others anymore. Only what we know is right in our hearts. Often that means saving yourself because we’re the only ones that can.

2) It’s important to maintain both a sense of control and a sense of change in our lives. Too much predictability the more meaningless our existence begins to feel. But too much change can throw us into chaos. We start to feel out of control. We need to pursue meaningful but manageable change over time. To do that we need to imagine the person we want to become and then take baby steps through steady, controlled self-discipline.

3) When a pilot flies an aeroplane the last thing they aim at is the obstacle they don’t want to hit. If a plane is on fire the pilots only have one goal: The nearest piece of tarmac. They will think of nothing else. They sure as hell won’t give up, even if the odds are truly stacked against them. How could they? Why would they? And why would you?


2 x Quotes:

“My conclusion as a clinical psychologist has been that as paralyzing and terrible as our propensity for negative emotion is, and as grounded in reality as that propensity might be, it’s more the case that our ability to overcome it is actually stronger than it’s grip on us.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Charles Darwin

1 x Joke:

It’s been raining a lot here recently. When we went outside yesterday I asked my wife is she wanted to hear a joke about umbrellas.

She said, “No, it’ll probably go straight over my head.”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 20/05/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that has a personality disorder…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) A great way to unburden your mind is to write your worries down on paper. Then, ask yourself some objective questions about those thoughts and write those answers down. Then, keep going – keep asking questions about your answers and writing those thoughts down. Eventually, as if by magic, you’ll come to a surprising insight.

2) What you want is a different hat to wear for every occasion. But you also want to wear the hat most suited to who you are as much as you possibly can. To put it another way: you should specialise at what you are but practise what you aren’t.

3) Your personality is the lens through which you view the world. Part of what colours this lens has do with the social context under which we have been raised. But another major part has to do with the innate personality traits that we were born with. Who we are – who we really are – runs deep. This understanding is important. Not only for knowing who we should become, but for helping us understand that other people are fundamentally different. It’s this understanding that helps foster greater compassion and tolerance for “the other side.” It also encourages us to engage with the other side so they can help point out our blind spots.


2 x Quotes:

“To be human means to be constantly in the grip of opposing emotions, to daily reconcile apparently conflicting tensions. I want this, but I need that. I cherish this, but I adore its opposite, too.”

— Stephen Fry

“What frightens us or gives us anxiety is not when bad things happen—it’s when we’re not sure whether a bad thing will happen or not.

— Mark Manson 

1 x Thing:

This Mark Manson article: The 3 Paradoxes of Life in which he answers the question of finding contentment by wrestling with the 3 paradoxes of life. The paradox of choice struck a chord with me in particular. As he writes, “Freedom is only meaningful when it is given up. And we give up freedom by making commitments.” Well worth a read!


1 x Joke:

Did you hear the tragic news about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way!


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 13/05/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that takes an extended break without telling anyone… (I missed you all too!)

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) If you think of a task in its entirety it can often feel overwhelming. Like staring up at a dragon. If that’s the case, don’t tell yourself you have to take down the whole dragon today. Just see if you can take a step closer to the cave that it’s residing in. Simply sharpen your sword. Get your armour ready. Whatever it is – reduce your ambition till you find the task you are willing to do and then move towards it.

2) A low energy life is a dangerous one. To live optimally you need look after your energy levels. You need to match the amount you’re carrying to the amount of drive you have available depending on the time or day. That might mean letting something go, which can be hard. But if you don’t – if you carry too much weight – you run the risk of stalling. This makes things much harder.

3) Often the reason we don’t gain energy from/motivation for an activity is to do with our relationship towards it, not the activity itself.


2 x Quotes:

“Show me a man who isn’t a slave; one who is a slave to sex, another to money, another to ambition; all are slaves to hope or fear.”

Seneca

“Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes.

Carl Jung 

1 x Thing:

This Psyche article: How to take things less personally by Joel Minden. I particuarly liked the advice about distinguishing thoughts from feelings. Quote:

A good way to distinguish feelings from thoughts is to remember that feelings can often be summarised in one word – nervous, happy, surprised, scared – and thoughts are the ideas that drive or follow the feelings… practise labelling them whenever you have the opportunity. For example, if during a dinner, your guest suddenly got quiet and you thought: ‘He doesn’t like talking with me,’ acknowledge that you’re working with a thought that may or may not be true, and then consider the feeling that came with that thought. An example of a more accurate way to describe what happened is: ‘When he got silent during dinner, I felt sad because I thought he didn’t like talking with me.’ Remember that feelings are not debatable – you just feel how you feel, even when you wish you didn’t. Your thoughts, on the other hand, can be challenged, revised or replaced with more realistic and useful ones.


1 x Joke:

We took our kids to beach yesterday.

I turned to my eldest and said, “How does the sea say hi to the beach?”

“It waves, of course!”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 25/03/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @anxiouspilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that believes embracing uncertainty is the only sure way to live…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) A relationship without conflict is doomed. We must challenge each other if we want to grow together. We need a person who will contend with us, not someone who will only worship us. We need someone who is courageous enough to tell us the truth, even if it hurts.

2) If you want to conquer fear you have to define it in pain-staking detail first. You have to hold it up in the light and examine it to see it for what it really is:

  • False.
  • Evidence.
  • Appearing. 
  • Real.

3) Change is the only certainty in life. To cling to what you know only provides you with a false sense of security. To embrace change – to embrace the unknown – is to embrace life itself. 


2 x Quotes:

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?””

— Seneca

What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. 

Tim Ferris.

1 x Thing:

This Tim Ferris article: Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month. I highly suggest giving the article a read – especially if you’re currently challenged with making a major life decision. The article goes into greater detail but, in a nut shell, this is what you do:

  1. Write down the major life change you’re considering. 
  2. Define the worst case scenario in pain staking detail. 
  3. Ask yourself what steps could you take to repair the damage/deal with worst. 
  4. Ask yourself what the outcomes/benefits of a more probable scenario are
  5. Ask yourself what the cost will be if you do nothing? What is the cost of inaction? 
  6. Finally, ask yourself what you’re so afraid of? 

1 x Joke:

Did you hear about the rock that faced his greatest fear?

He is now a little boulder.


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 11/03/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that believes you have to write your thoughts down in order to see them.

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) The more notes you take the more connections you build. The more connections you build the more your writing improves.

2) A simple way to outline blog post.

  • Start with the problem.
  • Tell your readers what the solution is.
  • Tell them how to implement this solution (break it down).
  • Finish by highlighting the main takeaway(s). 

3) A guide to challenging negative beliefs:

  1. Write down your negative belief.
  2. Ask yourself what factual evidence exists to support this belief.
  3. Ask yourself what contrary evidence exists to refute it.
  4. Ask yourself what a friend would say.
  5. State a new belief based on new evidence/what your friend would say.
  6. Ask yourself what your life would look like if you continue to invest in this belief.
  7. Every time you notice your old belief surfacing challenge it with your new belief.
  8. State your new belief every morning as part of your routine – keep repeating it your mind until it takes over.

2 x Quotes:

“Good writing is always about things that are important to you, things that are scary to you, things that eat you up. But the writing is a way of not allowing those things to destroy you.”

— John Edgar Wideman

“The worst readers are those who behave like plundering troops: they take away a few things they can use, dirty and confound the remainder, and revile the whole… The philosopher believes that the value of his philosophy lies in the whole, in the building: posterity discovers it in the bricks with which he built and which are then often used again for better building: in the fact, that is to say, that that building can be destroyed and nonetheless possess value as material.

— Nietzsche

1 x Thing:

This beast of a post by Micheal SimmonsThe Brutal Truth About Reading: If You Don’t Take Notes Right, You’ll Forget Nearly Everything. The post outlines how to take high quality notes – but also the benefits of sharing those notes publicly. Here’s an excerpt:

“We ask ourselves, “Who am I to share what I know?” Actually, who are you not to share? You have an embarrassment of riches. You know more than 99.9% of people in human history. You having impostor’s syndrome does not serve the world. Everyone is a teacher. Knowledge is abundant. The more you give it, the more you have it. When you teach others, you teach a student and create a future teacher. You become a link in the chain of wisdom that gets passed from human to human and generation to generation.”


1 x Joke:

We were having fondue for dinner the other night when my son flung melted cheese across the table.

I said, “Watch out, there’s been an explosion… Da brie is everywhere!!”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 04/03/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that is completely unaware of how awesome it is.

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) The only way to gain a clear picture of the person you are meant to become is to stop fighting who you already are(Click to tweet

2) The most important psychological trait you can develop is self-awareness. The caveat is, it doesn’t work without self- acceptance. It’s the combination of the two that leads to genuine change/growth in an individual. Self-awareness without self-acceptance leads to self-absorption. (Click to tweet)

3) Anger is a useful cue to zoom the lens out and foster greater perspective. (Click to tweet)


2 x Quotes:

Friendship means we are willing to carry things for other people that they won’t carry for themselves. We hold in our packs a version of our friends at their brightest and most creative that can be shown to them when they are in a slump. We carry memories of the times we laughed, did silly things, failed and succeeded. We store all the depth of the ways we have walked side by side on the path as well as the times we waited at an intersection while they took a detour and vice versa. Then at just the right moment, we unpack the brownies we’ve carried so far and celebrate our friends… There are some things worth the extra weight and friendship is one of them.”

— Wynne Leon (Source: https://pointlessoverthinking.com/2022/02/09/backpacks/)

“We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne.”

— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (Source: https://pointlessoverthinking.com/2022/02/05/marcus-aurelius-on-humility-and-duty/)

1 x Thing:

This article by John Salvatier: Reality has a surprising amount of detail. The article was recommended by Tim Ferris in his 5 bullet Friday newsletter. It details the detail in the seemingly simple, and why it’s important to look for the details you wouldn’t normally pay attention to. Well worth the 5-10 min read! Here are a few quotes from the piece:

This means it’s really easy to get stuck. Stuck in your current way of seeing and thinking about things. Frames are made out of the details that seem important to you. The important details you haven’t noticed are invisible to you, and the details you have noticed seem completely obvious and you see right through them. This all makes it difficult to imagine how you could be missing something important.

The direction for improvement is clear: seek detail you would not normally notice about the world. When you go for a walk, notice the unexpected detail in a flower or what the seams in the road imply about how the road was built. When you talk to someone who is smart but just seems so wrong, figure out what details seem important to them and why. In your work, notice how that meeting actually wouldn’t have accomplished much if Sarah hadn’t pointed out that one thing. As you learn, notice which details actually change how you think.

If you wish to not get stuck, seek to perceive what you have not yet perceived. 


1 x Joke:

When does a joke turn into a dad joke?


When it becomes apparent.



PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 04/02/22

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that doesn’t know where it’s going.

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) Increasing self awareness means taking the auto pilot out and hand flying the damn thing. It is a skill you must practise by actively bringing your focus back to the present moment over and over again. Not only to develop self awareness, but maintain it. (Click to tweet)

2) Before we act we must accept. Before we accept we must become aware. Step one, therefore, is the practise of presence moment awareness. Step two is the practice of universal compassion. Step three is taking action in alignment with your values. Awareness > Acceptance > Action. (Click to tweet)

3) Instead of trying to work out how you can get what you want, maybe you should seek to understand why you want it? Through understanding it’s possible you’ll drop your desire altogether. (Click to tweet)


2 x Quotes:

“The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens.”

– ARAB PROVERB

Self-observation—watching yourself—is important. It is not the same as self-absorption. Self-absorption is self-preoccupation, where you’re concerned about yourself, worried about yourself. I’m talking about self-observation. What’s that? It means to watch everything in you and around you as far as possible and watch it as if it were happening to someone else. What does that last sentence mean? It means that you do not personalize what is happening to you. It means that you look at things as if you have no connection with them whatsoever.

– ANTHONY DE MELLO

1 x Thing:

This article on Medium by Darius Foroux: Ask Yourself These 20 Questions to Improve Your Self-Awareness. A few of them include:

  1. What am I good at?
  2. What am I bad at?
  3. Who are the most important people in my life?
  4. How much sleep do I need?
  5. What’s my definition of success?
  6. What makes me sad?
  7. What makes me happy?
  8. What type of friend do I want to be?
  9. What do I think about myself?
  10. What things do I value in life?

His advice after answering these questions? “Double down on the advantageous stuff and start eliminating the harmful stuff, as much as you can. Do more things that make you happy or things you’re good at. Avoid things that make you unhappy or things you’re bad at. That’s it. That’s knowing yourself.”


1 x Joke:

As we walked into the elevator the other day I asked my wife is she wanted to hear a good elevator joke.

She replied, “Not really.”

I said, “Are you sure? This one works on so many levels.”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 14/01/22


Enter your email below and get the Flying Fridays Newsletter delivered to your inbox (almost) every week!

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that believes a meaningless existence is the whole point.

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) Our lives hold as much meaning as we give them. Which is why we must give ours as much meaning as we can. In our relationships and our work. We must fill every corner of our precious existence with it. If we do, we won’t be concerned with what the meaning of life is. We will understand that the question doesn’t matter. We will understand – that when it comes to the meaning of life – our own unique, unrepeatable lives – that we aren’t meant to ask the question. We are meant to answer it in the only way that we can.

2) The real fear isn’t that we’re going to die or that soon after we will be quickly forgotten. The real fear is getting to that point and realising we didn’t really live in the first place – that we didn’t live a life we felt was truly meaningful. This is why a fear of death is so heavily associated with a fear of life. Why we often feel like we’re “racing against the clock.” It’s when we don’t feel that our lives are currently meaningful that the worm at the core starts to eat us alive. 

3) Why it’s helpful to think you’re not a good person: A good person implies something black or white. You either are or you aren’t. This fixes your mindset. You believe you’re a good person and go at lengths to avoid being proven otherwise. You also become defensive about that belief. You feel threatened whenever this comes into question and so avoid the very conversations you need to hear so you may become a better person. That’s the way you should think. Not in terms of being a good person, but in terms of being a better one. Of course, you always can be.


2 x Quotes:

“Peace of mind produces right values, right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the centre of it all.”

– Robert Pirsig

“In their fear of death, those living fear life itself, a life that is doomed to die… The mode in which life knows and perceives itself is worry. Thus the object of fear comes to be fear itself. Even if we should assume that there is nothing to fear, that death is no evil, the fact of fear (that all living things shun death) remains… Fearlessness is what love seeks. Love as craving is determined by its goal, and this goal is freedom from fear… Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future… Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”

Hannah Arendt

1 x Thing:

This Mark Manson article: The Meaning of Life Is a Ham Sandwich. As he explains, “Meaning is not something that exists outside of ourselves. It is not some cosmic universal truth waiting to be discovered. It is not some grand ‘eureka’ moment that will change our lives forever. Meaning requires action. Meaning is something that we must continually find and nurture. Consistently.” I particularly liked the two ways he suggests doing that: Either by solving problems or helping others. Well worth the quick read!


1 x Joke:

I had my haircut the other day.

When I got home my 3 year old asked, “Dad, did you get a haircut?”

I said, “No, I got them all cut!”

Unfortunately the joke went over his head.


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 14/01/22


Enter your email below and get the Flying Fridays Newsletter delivered to your inbox (almost) every week!

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to 3-2-1 Flying Fridays! The only weekly post that enjoys having its head stuck in the clouds…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) The problem isn’t negative thinking per se, but an inability to get off the train and determine the clouds from the sky. That’s why it’s essential to know how to get off the train. It’s in the space outside our thoughts that we can view them objectively. Just like a cloud, this is where the smooth air is. It’s from this space that we can see things clearly. We can then choose which thought clouds we wish to engage with and which/when we shouldn’t.

2) You may never change someone’s mind on the spot, but by having the conversation you can, at least, plant the seed. It often takes a long time for a seed to sprout let alone blossom. The lesson? Keep having the conversations that matter – however difficult or futile they may seem.

3) Success isn’t achieving something. Success is enjoying achieving something. Win or lose. Success is about enjoyment. Not money. Not titles. Not prestige. Not being right. Not fame. It’s enjoyment. It’s loving what you’re doing.


2 x Quotes:

“Enlightenment is an accident – but meditation makes us accident-prone.”

Baker Roshi

“When dealing with people remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”

– Dale Carnegie 

1 x Thing:

This BBC work-life article on Awe: The ‘little earthquake’ that could free your mind by David Robson. The article explores the myriad of benefits that come from seeking out moments of awe. Well worth the quick read!

Awe-inspiring experiences – with their sense of grandeur, wonder and amazement – may confound our expectations, creating a “little earthquake” in the mind that causes the brain to reassess its assumptions and to pay more attention to what is actually in front of it.

– Michelle Shiota, a professor of social psychology at Arizona State University

1 x Joke:

After cooking dinner the other night, as we sat down to eat, I turned to my wife and asked,

“What did one dinner plate say to the other dinner plate?”

“Dinner’s on me!”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 07/01/22


Enter your email below and get the Flying Fridays Newsletter delivered to your inbox (almost) every week!

***

You can find more of AP2’s writing here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

You can also find him on Medium at: https://anxiouspilot2.medium.com

Or on Twitter at: @AnxiousPilot

3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to the Flying Fridays newsletter! The only weekly newsletter that starts the year a week later than everyone else.

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) If you don’t want to get stuck in the past, you must embrace the future.

2) When setting resolutions remember the language you use matters. You don’t have to write in a gratitude journal, you get to. You don’t have to be part of saving the planet for our children, you get to be. You don’t have to eat your vegetables or go for a run at 5am (you definitely don’t have to do that), you get to live a healthy lifestyle.

3) Two rules for writers: 1. Do more living than reading. 2. Do more reading than writing. Feed your brain with experiences and books before you write.


2 x Quotes:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

– Vivian Greene

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

– Rumi

1 x Thing:

This BBC article by David Robson: Are New Year’s resolutions powerful or pointless? The article explores the psychological reasons behind setting resolutions at the start of a new year with something known as “the fresh start effect.”

Katy Milkman, a psychology professor noted,“Any time you have a moment that feels like a division of time, your mind does a special thing where it creates a sense that you have a fresh start. This helps you to create psychological distance from past failures allowing you to feel that any mistake was the “old you” and that you’ll now do better.”

A useful takeaway mentioned that those who set approach goals – which involves adopting a new habit like meditation – versus those who set avoidance goals – which, as the name suggests, involves quitting something like sweets, alcohol or social media – were about 25% more likely to meet them.

The good thing is, if you want to give something up, you can turn into an appraoch goal. For example, if you want to give up social media, make the goal to take up reading ebooks whenever you feel like a bit of downtime on your smartphone.


1 x Joke:

I thought you might enjoy this.

“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for sentences such as, “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,”  and, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

An annual competition is held by the ‘New York Times’ to see who can create the best original lexophile.  

This year’s submissions:  

  • I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.  
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.  
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
  • This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore. 
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.  
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.  
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.  
  • I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.  
  • A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.  
  • A will is a dead giveaway.  
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.  
  • Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.  
  • Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?  He’s all right now.  
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.  
  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.  
  • He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.  
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.  
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That’s the point of it.  
  • I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.  
  • Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?  
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.  
  • When chemists die, they barium.  
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
  • Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


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3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 03/12/21


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3-2-1 Flying Fridays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to the Flying Fridays newsletter! The only weekly newsletter that tells you to stop playing so it can win…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) Before you play a game, there’s an important question you should ask yourself. That’s why you’re playing the game that you are, because the reason you’re playing – your why – has got to be bigger than winning. Success alone isn’t enough. Winning isn’t enough. Why do you want more followers on Twitter, or Instagram, or WordPress? Why do you want to become a published author? Why do you want to get that promotion?  What is the reason for playing the game that you are? 

2) No child plays to win. A child plays because it wants to play. That’s because playing is an expression of joy. Playing is an expression of freedom. Playing, in its purest form, is an expression of love. The reason for playing at anything is for the love of that thing. 

3) If you want more than what you already have, you’re poor. If you believe you have more than enough, you’re rich. This is true regardless of how much stuff you actually have.


2 x Quotes:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

“[A] low state of consciousness occurs when “we believe we are separate from everything else, alone and vulnerable.” If the world is all about you and your political preferences, injustices, fears, wants, and attention-seeking, then you’re putting yourself in a low state of consciousness. You’re taking every little thing too damn seriously and not zooming out to see the big picture: you are just like them, there is no enemy, people change, you’re not here for long, and your opinion isn’t right or wrong (it just is).”

Consciousness expert Vishen Lakhiani

1 x Thing:

This Psychology Today article: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization by resilience coach A.J. Adams. Using a number of example A.J. Adams demonstrates just how powerful the practise of visualisation can be for achieving your goals/improving performance. Her advice below:

Begin by establishing a highly specific goal. Imagine the future; you have already achieved your goal. Hold a mental “picture” of it as if it were occurring to you right at that moment. Imagine the scene in as much detail as possible. Engage as many of the five senses as you can in your visualization. Who are you with? Which emotions are you feeling right now? What are you wearing? Is there a smell in the air? What do you hear? What is your environment? Sit with a straight spine when you do this. Practice at night or in the morning (just before/after sleep). Eliminate any doubts, if they come to you. Repeat this practice often. Combine with meditation or an affirmation (e.g. “I am courageous; I am strong.”)

A.J. Adams.

1 x Joke:

My wife mentioned that there was a lunar eclipse this evening.

I asked, “Do you know how the moon cuts his hair?

“Eclipse it, of course!”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

3-2-1 Flying Fridays – 5/11/21


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3-2-1 Flying Fridays!

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to my weekly newsletter! The only newsletter that can’t decide what to call itself… (Please let us know if you prefer Friday Flyer, Flying Fridays, or Mindset Mondays. If any other ideas I’d be glad to hear them too!)

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one joke that’s so bad, it’s good!

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) We only do things for one of two reasons, because it makes us feel good or we believe it is good. This is where our consciousness becomes our friend. We have the ability to determine what is right despite how it makes us feel.

2) You can’t sprint a marathon. The bigger the project or goal the steadier the pace should be. You need to zoom the lens way out to keep that perspective. You were never meant to build Rome in a day.

3) Acceptance places responsibility and hope where it belongs: in you. It gives you clarity to then take meaningful action based on your values in the present moment. It’s rarely a question of whether you should act or accept, but a question of order. Accept and then act.


2 x Quotes:

“Remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” 

― EPICURUS

Excitement is contracting; it narrows your world. Your focus is on what comes next, always a few steps ahead of where you are. Excitement temporarily feels good. And there is no doubt that bursts of excitement add texture to your life. But if you are obsessively trying to generate the feeling, you may miss out on what is in front of you because you are already moving ahead. Ease, on the other hand, is expansive. Time slows and space widens.

– BRAD STULBERG SOURCE: The Practice of Groundedness

1 x Thing:

This Ryan Holiday article: These 5 Stoic Strategies Will Help You Slay Your Stress. Quote below:

The wonderful thing about what the Stoics called “the dichotomy of control” — that is, separating the things we can control from the things we can’t — is the resource allocation it promotes. When you stop worrying about what’s not in your control, you have more time and energy to put toward the things you can influence.

– Ryan Holiday

1 x Joke:

My youngest son was eating egg the other day.

I said to my wife, “It looks like he’s having an egg-cellent time.”

She rolled her eyes.

Then my son threw his egg on the floor. I said, “Oops, looks like he’s had a little egg-cidnet!”

At this point, while I was laughing to myself, I managed to spill my own drink.

My wife looked at me and said, “Who has egg on their face now?”


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

The 3-2-1 Friday Flyer – 22/10/21


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The 3-2-1 Friday Flyer

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to my weekly newsletter! The only newsletter that reminds which direction earth is whenever you’re up looking at the stars…

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something special (maybe). 

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) Your values aren’t what you say they are. Your values are what you do. They’re what you embody. If you binge watch Netflix every night, that is something you value. Living and acting in accordance with our values is what gives our lives meaning and raises self-esteem. Saying what we believe is right but acting otherwise does the opposite. 

2) There’s a big difference between treating people the same and forcing equal outcomes.

3) Sometimes doing what is right feels good as well, and that makes things easy. It’s also true that what is bad sometimes makes us feels bad too. More often than not, however, what feels good and what is right don’t align. Conversely what is wrong but feels good does. At least initially. The trick here is acknowledging and being kind to how we feel now, while reminding ourselves how things will feel/be in the future. Another trick is reminding yourself what will happen if you fail to act in accordance with your values. You want an idea to run away from as much as you want a goal to run towards.

 


2 x Quotes:

“Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” 

― Baruch Spinoza, Ethics

“It’s a curious truth that when you gently pay attention to negative emotions, they tend to dissipate – but positive ones expand.”

Oliver Burkeman Source: If you want to have a good time, ask a Buddhist

1 x Thing:

This week I have a question: What are your most important values and why? How do you live up to them?


PREVIOUS NEWSLETTER:

The Friday Flyer – 15/10/21


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The Friday Flyer

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to the first edition of my new and improved weekly newsletter! The only weekly newsletter that disappears for a month only to return on a different day of the week with a completely different name… (Let me know what you think in the comments.)

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 something extra special (maybe).

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) When you stop giving a fuck about the end result, you start having a lot more fun.

2) Your plant won’t grow if you only feed water to the leaves. You have to feed the roots in order to grow. That means taking care of your fundamentals first (think health, relationships, security, etc.), before you start chasing your goals.

3) The more you believe in yourself, the more willing you are to accept your current reality. Preparing for the worst helps you build the confidence needed to deal with it. When the worst happens and the fruits of your labour are rewarded, this becomes the difference between failure or, if you’re lucky, feeling relieved, and gaining an unstoppable sense of self-belief. Preparing for the worst in life – both mentally and physically – helps you accept life on its terms. It prevents from placing hope externally, for circumstances out of your control to go your way, and instead places it internally, for your ability to deal with anything and everything that comes your way. 


2 x Quotes:

“Groundedness does not eliminate passion, productivity, or all forms of striving and ambition. Instead, it is about ditching an omnipresent and frantic anxiety to begin living in alignment with your innermost values, pursuing your interests, and expressing your authentic self in the here and now. When you are grounded there is no need to look up or down. You are where you are, and you hold true strength and power from that position. Your success, and the way in which you pursue it, becomes more enduring and robust. You gain the confidence to opt out of the consumer-driven rat-race that leaves you feeling like you are never enough.”

— Brad Stulberg: The Practice of Groundedness

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

– Mark Manson: https://markmanson.net/feedback-loop-from-hell


1 x Thing:

This medium article from Tim Denning: Burned Out to Fired Up: 22 Simple Things That Can Completely Transform Your Life in 30 Days. Favourite quote below:

“When you write your ideas into reality, you attract those minds, which then connects you to other people, collectively raising human consciousness.”

3-2-1 Mindset Mondays

Hello lovely readers and welcome back to Mindset Mondays!

Following a 3-2-1 approach, it contains 3 thoughts from me (that you should ignore), 2 quotes from others (that you should read), and 1 thing I’ve been reading, watching or listening to this week that has helped me grow.

Let’s begin!


3 x Thoughts:

1) Growth for growth’s sake isn’t enough. Why do you want more money? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want more followers on Twitter? You need to define your values first and foremost.

2) The truth hurts initially but makes you stronger in the long run. A lie feels good to begin with but ultimately hurts much more.

3) Prioritising the things you value the most means learning to let go of everything else. That means understanding that everything you don’t pay attention to will get messy. It means embracing chaos in certain areas of your life. A happy, loving, laughter-filled day with my children means a chaotic household – I can tell you that right now! The point here is about perfection. Perfection and balance don’t work together. Attempts at having a perfect life will ruin your chances at having a balanced one.

 


2 x Quotes:

““The things you run from are inside you.” 

– Seneca

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”

– Mark Twain

1 x Question:

This BBC work-life article: How workers are re-defining professional ambition. As someone who has been reevaluating his own career ambitions, I found this article to be particularly interesting. Quote, “We’re not necessarily becoming less professionally ambitious, experts say, but our collective understanding of ambition – as a concept in the context of work – is evolving into something less standardised, more subtle, increasingly personal and often quite complex for employers wedded to tradition to understand.”


PREVIOUS MONDAY POST:

Mindset Mondays – 30/08/21


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