Tag: activism

The Hopeless Nature Of Hoping

The Hopeless Nature Of Hoping

AP2

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.”

– Vietnam War. Admiral James Stockdale 

Do you want to know the one reason you’re not happy right now? 

It’s because you’re hoping for something different. 

It’s as simple as that. 

By wishing for something different your perception of what reality should be crashes against what is. This friction is the source of all your suffering. 

You cannot alter reality. Only your perception of it, your acceptance of it.

Reality is perfectly happy being the fucked up place it is because it can’t be anything else.

It was just as fucked before you were born as it will be the day after you die. 

Stop hoping for something different. 

Either Act Or Accept.

These are far better choices than hoping.

Do you want to know why you’re in the mess that you are?

It’s because you were sold a dummy by a society that has glorified hope. With the movies and TV shows you watch. The super hero who swoops in to save the day at the final hour. You cling to that, waiting for your knight in shining armour to save you.

It’s true to say hope can serve as temporary relief from your current pain, but that’s about all one can say. 

Do you know what else achieves the same? 

Taking drugs. Drinking alcohol. Binge watching NETFLIX. 

How have those things worked out for you in the past?

What has hope really done for you?

It’s another form of avoidance, of distraction. 

What happened to your hope when coronavirus fucked up all your plans last year? What happened to your hope when governments repeatedly failed you?

Is hope going to get us out of this mess?

No.

Fuck hope. 

You’re the super hero of your own reality. You control yourself, your thoughts and the way you look at the world. 

Fuck hope. 

Hope is an excuse not to do what you can.

Hope is an excuse to say these problems are beyond you, to say they are beyond all of us.

Hope is saying all will be ok when I die and go to heaven. 

Fuck hope. 

Hope is what led you to hopelessness when the world didn’t live up to your expectations. 

And let me tell you, living in hopelessness is an equally terrible place because that isn’t based in reality either. 

Act or Accept. 

Those are your choices.

I’ll say one more thing before I wrap up.

Giving up hope isn’t about being overly pessimistic – it’s about coming back to reality and seeing it for what it is. 

Hopelessness is being overly pessimistic.

If you have clothes on your back, food on the table and a roof over your head. If you can breathe…!

I’d say there is more right with you than not.

The best things in life haven’t changed because you lost your job or your wife left you.

Taking a shit or having a wank is just as wonderful with zero dollars in the bank as it is with billions (sorry, I meant feeling the cool breeze on your skin or listening to the birds chirping in the morning – yeah those things too).

Will this message inspire you in some way?

Who knows.

All I can do is my best to reinforce the narratives that help me and see if it helps others.

Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.

Either way, I’m not holding onto any hope.

(Thanks for reading ladies and gentlemen. I hope (ha) you enjoyed it. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes I take an extreme position on a topic simply to challenge myself (and you) to think differently, even if I don’t agree with the argument. Do I really think that hope is such a terrible emotion? No, of course not. Hope is a very important emotion designed to inspire action. But here is what I did take from this post – hope must be tied to action otherwise it’s dangerous. Hoping for things out of your control (as I learnt the hard way this past year) is truly awful for your mental health. Hope only for yourself, for the things that you can control. And then take action to make it so. For everything else you can’t control – I suggest you practise acceptance instead. With that said I’m curious what your thoughts are on the topic of hope? As always I welcome ALL comments and opinions. Wishing you well, AP2 🙏)

***

You can see find more of AP2’s nonsensical world views and poor self-help advice here at: https://pointlessoverthinking.com

Is This The Only Thing We Need Do To Save The Planet?

Is This The Only Thing We Need Do To Save The Planet?

AP2

Before I get started there are a couple of things you should know. 

The first is I’m a pilot. (What? Didn’t you know!?)

My choice of profession means I’m responsible for pumping copious amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. (Seriously a fucking lot!) It should also be said I love to do this in my spare time. Travelling is a passion and if it weren’t for COVID that’s exactly what I’d be doing right now.

The second is that I eat meat, drink my tea with cows milk (because anything else ruins it) and fucking love cheese. Seriously, put some of that shit on a giant man-sized mouse trap and my last words would be, “this… mature cheddar… is… to die for… aaaaahhhhhhhh…”

This all begs the following question,

Why Should You Listen To Me Regarding The Environment?

Well, I’m not entirely sure you should, but I can, at least, think of a couple reasons why you might consider hearing me out. 

For one, I’m not here to give some fluffy account about how great I am or all the incredible things I’ve done/are doing to save this planet. 

“Hey everybody, look at me – I’ll show you exactly how you should live your life! All you have to do is be tee-totalling vegan buddhist monk just like me, yaaaay! 🤗”

No. That would be too easy.

I want to inspire change but you can’t do that without being honest. Without being clear where it is you are. For me that means admitting I still have an almighty mountain to climb if I am to become the change in this world that I wish to see. After all it’s not just changes in others I wish to inspire, but myself.

However I will admit my selfish intentions here – I want all of us to change for my children’s sake. 

With that said, I don’t subscribe to the belief that you need to be a vegan or some kind of die-hard environmentalist to save the planet either. At least not yet. At any rate, I believe telling others that they must does more harm than good.

Why?

Because beating your head against the wall trying to convince millions to become vegans overnight patiently doesn’t work. I actually think those who do turn more people off than they manage convincing – like telling people they must wear masks.

Look at how that worked out!

By the by, I don’t believe people are saying no to wearing masks per say – I don’t believe they are necessarily denying the science either – I believe they’re simply saying fuck you for demanding it of them.

Stupid as it might be, that’s America people. That’s the free world! People want to believe it was a choice they made for themselves, not because someone told them they had to. Like it or loath it, the culture of American exceptionalism is something we have to work with. In China they can demand change overnight. We can’t. Yet if we want to keep our freedoms, then we must take responsibility for them. That means doing what we know is right, not what we want simply because we are free to do so.

Can you not see why?

Our children are already striking – many becoming full-time climate activists – understanding that if things don’t change, and quickly, then becoming a doctor or a pilot (god forbid) will be luxuries they simply can’t afford to pursue. Instead we will have a generation of full-time environmentalists because we’ve left them little other choice.

If this scares you it should.

It’s a tragic irony that they’ve found themselves missing a lot more school this year as a result of our environmental exploitations.

This is precisely why we must ensure our choices are based on fact and not our feelings or fucked up entitled beliefs. If you didn’t know already, science gives zero fucks about what you feel you’re entitled to believe.

With all that said I won’t demanding you change your ways but instead ask compassionately that you please grow the fuck up and wear a mask (and make it a reusable one too). You do that and maybe, just maybe, I’ll consider putting oat milk in my cup of English breakfast tea (In other news the Queen just revoked my British passport).

I joke, of course.

Seriously though let me come back to the title of this post. The one you clicked on with a huge amount of scepticism.

Allow me to reframe it slightly and ask you this:

What’s One Thing You Can Do Today That Will Help Save The Planet?

And what if… (I’m dreaming big here.) What if all we had to do was ask and act on that one simple question?

What if we simply made the decision to be ever so slightly kinder to the environment today than they were yesterday?

And If we all did this, could it work? Could this be all that it takes?

Or am I away in the clouds again?

What do you think?

(Thanks for reading everyone. I appreciate the above might feel rich coming from a pilot but I genuinely believe in broader movements over absolute ideas of living in the woods with Bambi as my playmate. I also appreciate that the single biggest thing I could do to help the environment as a pilot is quit my job. Truthfully this is something I’m working on but now is not the right time (although it might well be out of my control soon enough).

Honestly the idea of making very small changes everyday has worked well for me – which is why I brought up this topic. For example I’m entirely plant based at home. This is a balance that works for me. It’s important to stress this didn’t happen overnight. This has been years in the making. It’s been a process. Of course I wouldn’t advocate you do the same, I’m merely pointing out a balance I’ve found in my life that works for me. It has been a long process of course, and I still have a long way to go but there is no question I’m moving in the right direction. And who knows? Maybe one day I’ll be a tee-totalling vegan Buddhist monk but that definitely isn’t the goal! Anyway it’s getting late so I’ll stop here.

As always I’m keen to get your thoughts and opinions on the matter. I welcome ALL of them. Also if you know of any easy to implement changes at home that one could incorporate to help the environment, I’m all ears?! I’ve also left a few articles for any interested parties! Thanks again and love to all, AP2 X)

nationalgeographic.com – Why We Will Succeed In Saving The Planet From Climate Change

nationalgeographic.com – Your Actions Alone Can’t Save The Planet But These Habits Can Help

www.wwf.org.uk – 10 Things You Can Do To Save Our Planet

science.howstuffworks.com – 10 Things You Can Do to Help Save the Earth

twenti.com – How To Save The Planet: 10 Changes With The Biggest Impact

The Boy Who Cried No Wolf

AP2

The first part of the story goes something like this. 

Once there was a boy who started screaming, “Wolf! Wolf!” 

Upon hearing this the people from his village ran around screaming like headless chickens. Of course the boy, who was playing a prank, thought this was hilarious. When the villagers found out the truth they were, understandably, very pissed.

Despite a good old rollocking the boy had had so much fun he thought he’d try it again the next day. Once more, after the villagers found out they’d been tricked, they gave him an almighty scolding.

The third time the boy did this, of course, there really was a wolf. Unfortunately no one believed him and so, as the story goes, the villagers got fucked…

Badly!

The second part of the story happened years later. It goes like this.

The children of that village, having seen what had happened that day, learnt a very valuable lesson. Sadly they grew up and forgot all about it. As a result they ended up electing that very same boy their king.

One day many packs of wolves descended on every village in the kingdom.

Unfortunately the boy king had stripped these villages of their defences to save a little money. Fearing that the villagers might form a rebellion as a result, the boy king devised a dastardly plan to save his reputation.

His plan, seen as it had worked for him so far, was to lie.

And so, despite reports coming in from across the kingdom about wolf attacks, he declared confidently, “No wolf! There is no wolf! Carry on with your life as normal.”

Of course there were, in fact, many millions of wolves. As a result, all of the villages throughout the kingdom, believing the boy, got fucked… very, very badly!

The villagers who survived were, predictably, very angry. They started screaming at the boy and each other for trusting the boy! Many who still trusted the boy screamed at those who didn’t!

Of course the boy king, understanding just how short the memory of his fellow villagers was, had banked on this. He used that anger and went on the offensive. “It’s not my fault,” he said. “It’s everybody else’s. I was actually the first person to say wolf, when nobody else did! It wasn’t me who said no wolf, it was the evil opposition!”

Now the villagers were confused.

They started saying things like, “Wait!? Did he say wolf or no wolf? I’m not so sure anymore. He’s certainly said both. Perhaps he really was telling the truth? Maybe the problem isn’t the boy king but the people who don’t believe him!?”

The problem the villagers had now, of course, because the boy had lied to them so much, was not about whether they should trust him or not. The issue is that they simply don’t know what is true anymore. They no longer know how to determine fact from fiction. It isn’t just the boy they don’t trust, but anyone.

Sadly this is something the original story about the boy who cried wolf never taught us. The exception to the rule. That is, if all you know and hear are lies, then it’s the truth that you stop trusting.

The third part of the story, of course, is yet to pass. The question is, will we the villagers continue to believe the boy who cried wolf, no wolf and then wolf again?

Or will we finally understand that the boy is the wolf…

https://iwillvote.com

https://www.usa.gov/voting

Motivational Mondays – 20/07/20

Motivational Mondays – 20/07/20

AP2

Hello fine readers and welcome to my Motivational Mondays Post – a weekly newsletter that attempts to rewrite the narrative Mondays are the most depressing day of the week. (Or at least start it off in a slightly better fashion.)

Following a 4:3:2:1 approach, it contains 4 exceptional thoughts from me (ha), 3 admittedly better quotes from others, and 2 things I’ve been reading and/or listening to this week that have helped me grow. 

As always I’ve finished with 1 something silly to hopefully make you all smile. 

Love to all X

(To my readers: you’ll notice I’ve been playing around with the title. If you have any other ideas about a better title for this weekly post I’d love to hear from you in the comments at the bottom. Equally any thoughts, feelings or suggestions about anything at else is also very welcome! Thanks for reading.)

4 x Thoughts From Me:

Happiness comes from finding the right sized circle of problems for you to solve. If it’s too small the insignificant things annoy you because you don’t have anything better to worry about – more to the point, you haven’t given yourself big enough problems to worry about. Similarly if it’s too big you’ll end up worrying about the things you can’t control – like current global events. Pick problems that you can solve and that speak to your heart. Learn to accept what you cannot. 

The great thing about momentum is it builds naturally. Like a boulder rolling down the hill. The difficult part, of course, is getting it to move. 

Make it your mission to be an agent of calm in the midst of chaos. When the storm settles, which it will, you will be well placed to pick up the pieces and put the world back together.

Clinging to hope has the same effect as clinging to happiness. You end up feeling the opposite. It is often far better to live in the present than to live in hope. 

3 x Quotes From Others:

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” – Bruce Lee

“Sister, there are people who went to sleep all over the world last night, poor and rich and white and black, but they will never wake again. Sister, those who expected to rise did not, their beds became their cooling boards, and their blankets became their winding sheets. And those dead folks would give anything, anything at all for just five minutes of this… So you watch yourself about complaining, Sister. What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou: Source: Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much your own unguarded thoughts.”- Gautam Buddha

2 x Things That Helped Me Grow

1 – This engaging intelligence squared podcast episode – Angrynomics: Why The World is So Angry, with Mark Byth, Eric Lonergan and Linda Yueh. The episode explores the role anger has had to play in our current state of affairs – and how a long overdue change in economic policy could help the world to feel less angry.

MY PERSONAL NOTES AND QUOTES:

  • Trump listened to what everybody else considered to be just noise. What he heard – the moral outrage. He gave that recognition. Then he went to the boarder and talked about Mexicans being rapists. He used that anger and weaponised it for his own agenda. He created his own tribe. 
  • What makes you angry tells you something about your character. 
  • One of angers important functions is for the recognition of injustice. It identifies ethical wrong doings. 
  • What would it say about our society if people weren’t protesting?
  • You’re suppose to get angry. It’s appropriate that people are affronted by these acts of injustice. 
  • Tribal rage. It’s an age old instinct for it to turn into violence. This where we need to be very careful with our anger. (Why many sports fans become violent). 
  • What we’re very concerned about is how politicians are exploiting this to motivate minorities in order to tactically win elections. 
  • By banding together as part of groups and giving ourselves a narrative it gives us back a sense of control we feel we’ve lost. These are groups very much based on the idea that everybody else is wrong. 
  • Tribalism versus ligiitmate anger or moral outrage. 
  • Why are we also seeing more moral anger? In many ways we understand what is happening – by demonstrating our moral outrage. This is a sign for optimism.
  • One of the reasons Tribalism is being exploited by the political elites is that we lack motivating ethical ideologies. 
  • The two overriding moral questions we are concerned about are climate change about the scale of inequality 
  • Whatever you sit on the political spectrum a situation where you have 90% of the wealth allocated to just 1% of the population is clearly not very functional. 
  • We have moral outrage about inequality and global sustainability. Add to that a recession – these are the 3 issues we need to solve as a top priority. 
  • The majority of lower income individuals in the most vulnerable positions are getting hardest hit. When they see companies like Boeing given 50billion at the drop of a hat. When they were told for years there is no money to sure up student debts or increase minimum wage yet suddenly they can magic up trillions in the afternoon for big business. Why wouldn’t they be morally outraged. That’s where we are. 
  • There is a lot of consensus about income inequality but very little consensus about what to do about it. 
  • 3 ways to do this? 1) A National Wealth Fund  2) A green new deal 3) Use dual interest rates
  • We all look at the climate crisis as this huge problem that requires a huge sacrifice. I view it completely the other way around. I say, ‘thank god we have this great opportunity for lots of investment spending because our economic situation is crying out for lots of investment spending.’ 
  • These changes will fundamentally change our economic system so that is more transparent and fairer. More importantly it will make people feel valued again and this will help counteract the huge rise in global anger. 

2 –This Starting Greatness podcast episode – Lessons of Greatness: Why the world needs breakthrough builders; How it can be you. This episode explores backcasting as a tool for building a better future.

MY PERSONAL NOTES AND QUOTES:

  • “Everything that makes up this world that we call life was made by people no smarter than you. Once you learn this you’ll never be the same again.” – Steve Jobs. 
  • The future doesn’t happen to us. It happens because of us. 
  • Now is really the time to ask what you want your life to be about. This question is more important than ever because the present has stopped working. 
  • We need more people who unapologeticcally seek break throughs 
  • How can you do it? By backcasting.
  • Forecasting works best when you want to maintain a current path. When it comes to breakthroughs forecasting doesn’t work. Forecasting simply brings our current problems into the future with us. 
  • Backcasting assumes that previous models of forcasting won’t work. Which is the whole point because you want to change the future. You don’t want to play by the rules anymore. 
  • To do this first look for inflections. – An inflection is a time of significant change. (Technology/adoption/regulatory and belief – four major kinds of)
  • Inflection points provide leverage for entrepreneurs to wage war against the status quo. 
  • You need to work from the future backwards. Consider different and surprising futures then work backwards to the present. This is how you find surprising breakthroughs in the market. 
  • Imagine as a many as you can then look for and gather insights – An insight is an unrecognised truth that can lead to a breakthrough from the present. 
  • It forms a connection between inflections and the breakthrough product 
  • Think about futures that you are uniquely capable of building. Then ask about how you can build a team to make your insight a reality.
  • This is the moment to show who you are and what you want your life to stand for. The present has stopped working. We must create a better future. Bet on your ability to find a place to change the world. 

1 x Silly Thing To Make You Smile:

My wife made these delectable carrot cup cakes the other day.

The first batch were regular sized but with the little bit of batter she had left she made a few smaller ones too.

When I got round to eating the smaller ones, I told her they were even more delicious than the big ones.

She asked why.

I told her because you can get a much higher icing to cupcake ratio with the smaller ones.

She laughed before commenting, “You’ve added more icing than cupcake!”

“Exactly,” I mumbled with one already stuffed into my happy face.

Exactly.

Till next week…

Have a Happy Fucking Monday Everybody!

P.S. Don’t forget to exercise your silly muscle this week!

One bonus question for you all:

How much icing do you like on your muffins?

PREVIOUS MONDAY POSTS:

Motivational Mondays – 13/07/20

Motivational Mondays – 06/07/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 29/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 22/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 15/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 08/06/20

Happy Silly Mondays – 25/05/20

Happy Silly Mondays – 18/05/20

Happy Silly Mondays – 11/05/20

If Honesty Isn’t The Value We Look For In Our Leaders Then What Does That Say About Us?

AP2

“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the convinced communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction (ie the reality of experience) and the distinction between true and false (ie the standards of thought) no longer exist.”

– Hannah Arendt from her 1951 book The Origins of Totalitarianism.

Let’s not blame each other.

Let’s not point the finger.

Let us all for a moment drop the habits that prevent us from learning and accessing the truth.

But let’s pause for a second and consider the wake of our recent choices. 

As we all reel in the wake of yet another tragic black death. A pandemic for which we were woefully unprepared. As we sit on the precipice of an impending climatic catastrophe that we have all had the time in which to make the changes necessary to prevent (or at least significantly stem). We must ask ourselves, how we as a generation became so lost?

When did we stop valuing the truth?

Why did being right become so important?

How did being wrong become so unbearable? 

When we voted in men we know lied to obtain their positions, what were we really saying? 

Did we vote in the way we did because we refused to acknowledge our previous mistakes?

Will we vote the same way because we don’t have the balls to admit we were wrong?

Let me be more blunt.

What the shitting fuck has happened that we allow a man who almost only talks in complete bullshit to remain in office? Who is actively and openly preventing others from accessing the truth?

What the fuck has happened to our values?

When did freedom of speech become the freedom to lie your fucking ass off without repercussion? 

You know that boy who cried wolf – who caused the death of all those villagers? Shall we vote him into power?

Great fucking idea.

Should we protect freedom of speech? Yes, of course we should. We should even protect the right to lie. But to allow people – the president of the United States none the fucking less – to lie without consequence?

What the fuck are we teaching our children?

How can we as a democratic society be ok with a man who actively seeks to prevent people from accessing the truth? This is a heinous crime.

I’m sorry for my anger and I’m sorry if you’re offended, but the truth is far more important than your ego. Actually I’m not sorry, fuck your ego. (I say that with love. I really do.)

To ask difficult questions means to confront some difficult truths.

Here are a few.

Democracy isn’t failing. 

We have. 

It’s not the republicans or the democrats fault. It’s not the presidents fault. 

It’s our fault. 

We together are all responsible. Regardless of whether you voted for that man or not. 

Somewhere along the way we stopped trying to understand the other and it became a game of us against them.

In that moment we all lost.

That policeman who killed George Floyd. Who do you think is responsible for his death?

We. All. Are.   

None of our hands are clean.

So long as we continue on our path of accumulating wealth while others starve.

So long as we continue to rape the planet will while we sit eating imported steak dinners simultaneously discussing how bad it is for the environment then joking how delicious it is.

So long as we sit quietly while someone with strong opinions talks about how our Black/Hispanic/Chinese/Female coworkers are less able. You know, the type of person who opens a sentence by saying, “I’m not racist but… I’m about to say something very fucking racist.

So long as we continue to think in terms of us vs them instead of a collective we. So long as we keep looking at each other as the enemy. So long as we allow those who we hate to be people we hate. We’ve lost.

I’m ashamed to say I’m guilty of all theses things.  

You’re a hypocrite then?  Is that what you’re telling us?

Yes. Yes I am. Absolutely. Both hands in the air. 

I’m a pampered middle class white man who has enjoyed the privilege without even knowing it. My ignorance has been a disease. In no small way the colour of my skin has been an advantage that allowed me to succeed ahead of others who I’ve no doubt are more qualified, more intelligent and harder worker than I will ever be. All because I’m white and they’re not.

You know what. I don’t welcome it. It’s made me weak and I don’t welcome it. I honestly don’t welcome the easy life I’ve had. 

I want a level playing field. And on it I want to compete with all my brothers and sisters regardless of background, ethnicity, gender or sexual preference. I want to embrace them at the end. Win, lose or draw. I want them to challenge me – to be able to really challenge me, so I can grow.

Do you think the athletic world benefited from allowing black people to openly compete with white people? Of course it did. Why the fuck don’t we think that true equality wouldn’t benefit us all? Of course it fucking will.

It will make ALL OF US STRONGER. 

You see what we did when we marginalised and made groups of people unable to compete with us on the same level playing field? We made ourselves weaker. We made ourselves weaker because we made it easier for us by making it impossible for others.

Now we’re so fucking weak that equality feels like a burden. It feels like sharing wealth and opportunity is an affront to our being. 

I’m wrong. My way of living is wrong. I’m so far from what is right it hurts. But you know what. I’m willing to admit it. Are you? 

Are you willing to say I’m wrong or is your ego too fucking precious? We should all be encouraging each other everyday to openly say I am wrong and ask the question, how can I be less so?

Quite frankly if you don’t have the balls to admit you’re wrong, you’re a coward. 

Is this making you uncomfortable? I hope so. It’s making me uncomfortable. Which is why I know it’s where I must go. If you’re uncomfortable it’s because I’m challenging your beliefs.

THATS A GOOD THING EVEN IF IM WRONG.

Let’s have the discussion. Let’s have the conversation. Let’s try to understand each other. Let’s move closer together. 

And let’s stop giving power to those who aren’t willing to do the same.

Please, I bet of you, for our children’s sake. Let’s value our fucking values again. 

(As always I welcome ALL comments and opinions. This is just me venting. Please don’t think I would ever direct that at you. I’m simply trying to get myself to wake up to the ways I can be better.)

Mindset Mondays – 06/07/20

Mindset Mondays – 06/07/20

AP2

Hello fine readers and welcome to my Motivational Mondays Post – a weekly newsletter that attempts to rewrite the narrative Mondays are the most depressing day of the week. (Or at least start it off in a slightly better fashion.)

Following a 4:3:2:1 approach, it contains 4 brilliant thoughts from me, 3 admittedly better quotes from others, and 2 things I’ve been reading and/or listening to this week that have made me grow. 

As always I’ve finished with 1 something silly to hopefully make you all smile. 

Love to all X

(To my 2 regular readers: you’ll notice I’m playing around with the title to see what works best to attract more readers. If you have any ideas about a good title for this weekly post please do leave them in the comments at the bottom. I’d be grateful for your suggestions.)

4 x Brilliant Thoughts From Me:

Why it’s helpful to think you’re not a good person: A good person implies something black or white. You either are or you aren’t. This fixes your mindset. You believe you’re a good person and go at lengths to avoid being proven otherwise. You also become defensive about that belief. You feel threatened whenever this comes into question and so avoid the very conversations you need to hear so you may become a better person. We should drop the notion of what we think it means to be a good person. The way I look there is no such thing. You’re either trying to be a better person or you’re not. Don’t try to be a “good person.” Just try to be better one.

We are nothing if not all those who came before us. We will be nothing if we don’t act for those who come after. A better tomorrow has to be the spirit by which we all live.

Just remember when you think you hold the moral high ground, that even Hitler thought he was doing the right thing. 

A deliberately easy life makes us unhappy because it makes us bad at dealing with life’s inevitable difficulties, however small. Conversely a deliberately difficult life makes us happy because it builds emotional resilience. It also teaches us appreciate and enjoy the everyday most take for granted. 

3 x Admittedly Better Quotes From Others:

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” – C.S. Lewis 

“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” ― C.G. Jung

“The fact that we are connected through space and time shows that life is a unitary phenomenon, no matter how we express that fact.” – the great evolutionary biologist Lynn Margulis

2 x Things I’ve Been Listening to &/Or Reading This Week:

1 – This brilliant Happiness Lab podcast episode: How to Be a Better Ally with Dr. Laurie Santos. In this final episode of season 2, Dr Laurie Santos examines why we are often so reluctant to act against the bigotry and injustice we claim to be against, and ‘how we can match our moral beliefs with concrete action.’ (Featuring James Barr and Dan Hudson, co-hosts of the podcast ‘A Gay and a Non-Gay.’)

MY PERSONAL NOTES AND QUOTES:

  • Why do well intentioned people who believe in the good often do nothing? How can we deal with these parts of psychology so we can overcome our insecurities over acting? 
  • Any comment however awkward is better than silence. 
  • Beliefs do nothing by themselves. 
  • You’re meant to feel awkward – if you’re standing up for marginalised groups of people and you’re afraid of getting for saying the wrong things. Maybe feeling awkward- putting yourselves in those awkward positions and having those awkward conversations means you’re doing the right thing. 
  • We need to accept we are not good people yet. We need to aim for being slightly better (slightly less horrible) human beings. 
  • It’s actually a higher standard. By never assuming you are good you are always looking for how you can be better. By admitting you’re not a good person you can understand where your blind spots are and work on fixing them.
  • When you’re in a fixed mindset and you make a mistake research shows we actually shut down and withdraw from the mistake. It’s a state of non learning. This is because we don’t believe we can change or get better. We are who we are so why bother trying to learn and change. 
  • To become better allies we need to switch to having a growth mindset. 
  • Simple three letter word for developing growth mindset:  YET 
  • I’m not a good person yet but I can be if I put in some work. 
  • Reminding ourselves of our capacity for growth can have a profound effect on our willingness to engage in difficult social situations. To own up to our mistakes and our motivation to become better people. It helps us break through the discomforts that come with trying to be an ally. 
  • It’s morally wrong to leave the burden to speak out with only the marginalised groups. Science shows that it’s more effective when some one whose not from the marginalised group points out bigotry. 
  • We have far more influence than we realise. A study found that a white person speaking out against racism was looked at more positively than a black persons using the exact same words. The recipient also showed more willingness to apologise and make amends if it was a white person who had spoken out against them. 
  • We need to use our white privilege to end white privilege.
  • If I’ve learnt one thing from BLM movement its that silence means death.
  • Not everyone has to or can be on the front line but everyone needs to get off the sidelines. 
  • If Nelson Mandela -A political prisoner of one of the most racist regimes of the second half of the 20th century – can become its leader, than anything and everything is possible. 

2 – This New York Times Article titled, ‘Nature Deficit Disorder’ Is Really a Thing about how children’s behaviour may suffer from lack of access to outdoor space, a problem heightened by the pandemic. The following quotes are taken from the article:

“Ironically, the 2020 coronavirus pandemic, as tragic as it is, has dramatically increased public awareness of the deep human need for nature connection, and is adding a greater sense of urgency to the movement to connect children, families and communities to nature,” – Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder.”

Ming Kuo, Ph.D., an associate professor at the University of Illinois who studies urban greening, said parents, like Shore, have described how their children are “completely different” when they have access to green space. Dr. Kuo’s research has shown that access to green space decreases aggression and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder symptoms, and boosts the immune system. But she also was quick to point out an unequal access to green spaces across socioeconomic and racial lines.

1 x Silly Thing To Make You Smile:

I went to see a Physio this week about a recurring back problem I’ve been having.

He asked me to take my top off and stand directly opposite him so he could examine any imbalances.

Comparing my triceps he commented, “You’re seriously right handed.”

We were in ear shot of a couple of good looking ladies working out in their gym.

I tried to think of something witty to say.

“Let’s not jump to any conclusions about why that is,” I replied.

While smirking I continued, “I hold my boy with that arm.”

The physio laughed.

The girls did not…

Till next week,

Have a Happy Fucking Monday Everybody!

P.S. Don’t forget to exercise your silly muscle this week!

One Bonus question for you all:

What do you like to hold in your arm?