I feel like this piece needs a bit of an explanation. I was quite angry when I wrote it. I went to bed angry after reading an article about environmental decline being in “free fall.” Stupid I know. At any rate, when I woke up I was still angry. And so I got up, walked over to my laptop and started writing. The following is what resulted.
I should say this piece contains some swearing plus some fairly strong views. This is definately one of my articles that requires a pinch of salt.
You should also be warned I point the finger at everyone in this piece, myself included. That said it isn’t directed at anyone person but society in general. This post isn’t about offering any advice but about the energy with which I wrote it.
It’s very much about the need to wake the fuck up.
I’m not trying to be insensitive here – only to express the anger I felt. At the end of the day they are only words – we decide whether to give them power over us. That said there is definitely some hard truths here if you have the stomach to swallow it.
At any rate should you simply want to see what harnessing anger does for your writing, well put this in you pipe and smoke it.
Enjoy it or not.
I really couldn’t give a flying fuck.
If you care about your children then you must fight for the planet.
A fancy title. A big house. A shiny car. It will be of little comfort when the world burns.
The survival of this planet means the survival of your children. Period.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
You want your children to have more than you? Why exactly?
Have you not had enough during your privileged lifetime? Have you not had enough things? Enough fancy fucking food? Have you not travelled to enough exotic destinations? How did your MacDonald’s taste on the other side of the world by the way? How did that chain resort compare to one you stayed at in that other country you never saw? How does your latest model of iPhone compare to the one you bought only 2 fucking years ago?
Has it really not been enough? Do your children really need more than what you’ve had?
Or do they need a different fucking education about what enough actually is?
Fuck me too.
These questions are directed at me, as much as you. The truth is I’m the biggest hypocrite of all.
I’m very much part of the generation who has said the right things but not acted on them.
Why am I so pissed off?
Because I’m angry at myself. I’m angry at society for trying to make me into the kind of person I detest. But mainly I’m angry that I didn’t stand up and say fuck you. I’m angry that I didn’t tell society to go fuck itself. I’m angry because I sold my soul for the world. All because I wanted the latest iPhone, the shiny car, the big house…
There comes a point in everyone’s life, I think, where you question everything. Every single thing you’ve been taught. How you were told to live. The things you were told you should be. When you examine it all, it’s like waking up with the worst fucking hangover imaginable.
It hurts so fucking much.
My whole life. It’s bullshit. It’s not had any real purpose. It’s just been about looking good on paper. And then you look around and see that everyone is too self involved to give a shit anyway. They’re also worried about how their life looks on paper. Their lives are bullshit too.
Look at me mum and dad! Are you proud? I’m not. I was sold a dummy. I bought it and now I don’t know how to give it up. I hate it but I can’t. And so I hate myself. I’m an addict of the worst kind. No different to a junkie with a needle sticking out of his arm. Actually there is a difference. The way I’ve lived will hurt more people. They’re just killing themselves. One less person on the planet. One less problem for the world to deal with.
Did I just say that?
I guess I did.
The true-blue junkies aren’t the ones who need to die of course. As far as mother earth is concerned it’s me who needs to die. Or, at least, the current version of who I am.
I realise now the only thing my children actually need is a world to inherit. What the fuck are we living for if not for them? If not for the survival of our planet?
I imagine my children looking at me in the eyes when they grow up and asking, “Was it worth it dad?” The thought breaks my heart into a million pieces. Because the truth is, right now, I can‘t say it was. I can’t look them in the eyes I say I’ve done all that I can.
I’m not even close.
The changes that I will have to make. The changes over which they will have no choice to because of the way I have lived. It scares the living shit out of me.
Up till now I have failed them. I must do better. I must stop being so selfish. I must be the change I want to see. The change this world so desperately needs. I must give my children a fighting chance to clean up the big fucking mess I have left them. At the very least, I must give them that. The chance to be better than I have. The chance to live a life of purpose and meaning. One that will give them far more than any shiny car, fancy gadget or big house can.
This is the absolute minimum we must give our children. – A fighting chance.
Right now that’s all we can give them too.
But we can give it to them. And we must.
There is no other option.
Thanks for reading again guys and girls. As always I welcome ALL opinions and thoughts on this blog. Especially the ones that challenge my thinking! With that said I’m curious about what you think? Was I too hard on myself? On you? Was I not hard enough? I mean to follow this up with many posts going forward about how to make a difference on an individual level – about how we can, in fact, give our children a fighting chance. I’ll try to be less angry in those! Till then I wish you all well, AP2 X