Motivational Mondays – 17/08/20

Hello fine readers and welcome back to my Motivational Mondays Post! The only newsletter to rub your belly and pat your head at the very same time.

Following a 4:3:2:1 approach, it contains 4 exceptional thoughts from me (ha), 3 admittedly better quotes from others, and 2 things I’ve been reading and/or listening to this week that have helped me grow

As always I’ve finished with 1 something silly to lighten your Monday blues… 

Love to all X


4 x Thoughts From Me:

Freedom demands we choose our responsibilities. The same way that having a life demands we protect it. If you want freedom of choice then you have to choose to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t someone else will choose your responsibilities for you. The danger is they will use that for their own profit and power by forming a narrative you refused to take responsibility for forming yourself. In doing so they will shut your mind from your heart. The moment that happens you’ve lost your freedom.

It’s not a matter of quality over quantity. I believe that quantity produces quality amongst a sea of mediocrity. The greatest artists produce far more average work than they do masterpieces. The point is though, they produce far more work.

It’s far easier to help those who actually ask for it. Very rarely can we help those that don’t. Don’t be afraid to put your hand up and ask.

When you’ve only suffered enough to know what misery is, but not enough to know what for, then you must endure a while longer. Keep searching for the meaning and you will find your salvation.


3 x Quotes From Others:

“Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage.” – Thucydides (Source: MAYALAND – ABSTINENCE)

 “How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to mind the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time.” – Anne Frank

“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl (Source: Vrunda Chauk – Taking Responsibility)


2 x Things That Helped Me Grow

1 – This interesting No Stupid Questions podcast episode – Are You a Maximizer or a Satisficer? with Steven Dubner and Angela Duckworth. In this episode Steven and Angela discuss whether it is better to be a Maximizer or a Satisficer and what is the best interview question to ask. Notes and quotes below.

MY PERSONAL NOTES AND QUOTES:

  • Question #1: Is it better to be a maximizer or a satisficer?
  • Maximiser – when it comes to work a maximiser is someone who tries to become better and better. Someone who tries make the best of every decision. You’re looking for the absolute best outcome everytime.
  • Satisficer – someone who is happy to settle for good enough.  You’re looking to save time and energy.
  • Often being a Maximiser in a professional sense is a good thing but maybe satisfising for others things Satisficing might be a better approach? ie. when going for lunch. What is the opportunity cost for spending so much time researching the perfect place to eat, when you could just grab a bite and get back to work?
  • If you’re talking about your vocation or life partner? Sure let’s maximise. Choosing lunch? Maybe best to satisfise. 
  • Useful terminology for thinking clearly about what you want to settle for, versus what you want the best out of in life.
  • Studies found that in general Satisficers are happier. They are willing to settle for less. Maximisers perhaps never happy enough because it’s not possibly to maximise every decision all the time?
  • We become more of a Satisfiser the older we get. Is it because we let our standards slip? No – has more to do with choosing what to care about. Deliberating not caring about the rest.
  • Often maximising doesn’t lead to happier outcomes. Think about choosing from 24 different types of jam at the supermarket versus 3 different types. Sometimes it’s simply not worth trying to maximise all your decisions.
  • Question #2: What is the best interview question?
  • What do you hope to have achieved in 5 years and 10 years time?
  • Fermi question? Is a question where one is asked to make a quick estimate for something that is very difficult to measure accurately. Tests the ability to quickly approximate difficult calculations. 
  • Unstructured – where you basically have an informal conversation with someone. Danger of harming the interview process. Basing decision on personality versus actual credentials for the job.
  • Work sample. Where you give them a problem to solve. Asking a potential editor to go away and edit a manuscript for example. This is better
  • Meta question – Tell me the question I should ask you that’s going to make me hire you? 
  • It’s important to remember the interviewer wants the interviewee to succeed. 

2 – This fascinating article – The Truth About Clickbait, by George J. Ziogas. In it George explores the science behind how it works and what we can learn from it. This is well worth clicking on! Quote from the article below.

“If you think you’re above clickbait, think again... If you believe in your content, if you believe in what you do, then you have a responsibility to create clever headlines that will encourage people to read that information.


1 x Silly Thing To Make You Smile:

My wife came into our office this morning and asked if I would like her to make me a cup of oolong tea.

I looked up at her with a stupid grin on my face.

I said nothing.

“Is that a yes? No? Would you like a different kind of tea..?,” she continued.

My grin widened. I remained silent.

“Are you going to answer me or not!?,” she pressed, clearly sensing that something was up.

“I’m thinking,” I finally replied breaking my silence.

“This is going to take oolong time…”

My wife rolled her eyes before leaving the room.

I maintain this was a brilliant joke.

I received no cup of tea…


Till next week…

Have a Happy F***ing Monday Everybody!

P.S. Don’t forget to exercise your silly muscle this week!

One bonus question for you all:

What’s your favourite kind of tea?

(Please take your time deciding)


(Thank you all so much for reading. If you have any suggestions, thoughts or ideas about today’s weekly post I’d love to hear from you in the comments at the bottom.)

PREVIOUS MONDAY POSTS:

Motivational Mondays – 10/08/20

Motivational Mondays – 03/08/20

Motivational Mondays – 27/07/20

Motivational Mondays – 20/07/20

Motivational Mondays – 13/07/20

Motivational Mondays – 06/07/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 29/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 22/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 15/06/20

Happy F***ing Mondays – 08/06/20

Happy Silly Mondays – 18/05/20

Hello fine readers and welcome to my Happy Silly Mondays Post – a weekly newsletter that attempts to rewrite the narrative Mondays are the most depressing day of the week.

Following the rule of 3, it contains 3 thoughts from me, 3 quotes from others and 3 things I’ve been reading, watching and/or listening to this week. 

As a bonus I’ve finished with one something very silly to hopefully make you smile. 

Hope you enjoy.


3 x Thoughts From Me:

You can never be perfect. You can always be better.

Today is the most important day of your life. This moment is the most precious moment of your life, because it is the only moment you ever have. Come back to it then live life accordingly. 

Never do I feel more like a man when I’m giving someone a hug. 

3 x Quotes From Others:

“It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” – Byron Katie

“The most important thing a creative per­son can learn professionally is where to draw the red line that separates what you are willing to do, and what you are not. Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it. The more you need the money, the more people will tell you what to do. The less control you will have. The more bullshit you will have to swallow. The less joy it will bring. Know this and plan accordingly.” – Hugh MacLeod

“People ask me, ‘What is the use of climbing Mount Everest?’ and my answer must at once be, ‘It is of no use.’ There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behavior of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron… If you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won’t see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to live. That is what life means and what life is for.” – George Mallory

3 x Things I’ve Been Listening/Reading/Watching this week:

1 – Alain de Botton’s brilliant TED talk about why we suffer from career anxiety more than we ever have before. In it he outlines the need to define ourselves what it means to be successful:

Quotes from the transcript:

Here’s an insight that I’ve had about success: You can’t be successful at everything. We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance. Nonsense. You can’t have it all. You can’t. So any vision of success has to admit what it’s losing out on, where the element of loss is. And I think any wise life will accept, as I say, that there is going to be an element where we’re not succeeding.

One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves.

What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.

2 – This Stanford study that found walking improves creativity.

I found it interesting given I regularly go for a walk through our neighbourhood park and, in the process, note down any creative ideas I have. I didn’t realise this method of generating creativity had been backed by science!

3 – If I were to recommend just one podcast to listen to this week, it would this Tim Ferris episode with Elizabeth Gilbert on Saying No, Trusting Your Intuition, Integrity Checks, Grief, Awe, and Much More. I took a huge amount from it!

SOME TAKEAWAYS:

The truth has legs – it’s the only thing that will left standing at the end of the day. 

Grief is not something you master, it’s something you survive. It has something beautiful and it has great lessons for you but you have to surrender to it.

They say great art has to have two features. It has to be both surprising and inevitable. 

Why being honest with those you love is the most difficult – because those are the ones you want to hurt the least.

Universal human compassion that doesn’t include the self isn’t universal. 

You’re never going to meet anybody who causes you more trouble or pain than you.

When you see someone acting out I’ve got a great name for you to call them: ‘Me on a different day.

1 x Silly Thing To Make You Smile:

While trying to teach my son a few more three syllable words this week I asked,

“Can you say, butterfly? But… Ter… Fly?”

Silence…

“Can you try for dada please? But… Ter… Fly…”

Still silence…

“Ok let’s break it down. Can you finish the word But… Ter…?”

“Fly,” he replied.

“Good. Can you finish the word, But…?

‘Ter-fly”, he replied again.

Great. Now can you say the whole word for me? Can you say But-Ter-Fly?

He pauses before responding with a beaming smile,

“BUT… FLY!!!”

Even if you don’t achieve the result you were hoping for, if you give it your best you’ll always be a champ in my book!


Happy Silly Mondays Everyone!

Thanks for reading.

Till next time – don’t forget to exercise your silly muscle!

Happy Silly Mondays – 11/05/20

Hello Fine Readers and welcome to my Happy Silly Mondays Newsletter!

In an attempt to rewrite the narrative that Mondays are the most depressing day, I’ve decided to compile a weekly newsletter for a happier, sillier start to the week!

Following the rule of 3, it contains 3 thoughts from me, 3 positive quotes from others and 3 things I’ve been reading, watching and/or listening to this week.

As a bonus I’ve finished with one something very silly that will hopefully make you smile.

Hope you enjoy.

3 x Thoughtful Quotes From Me:

Trees – they take what we don’t need and give us what we do. We should show them the same love and respect in return.

Make your journey about the journey itself. Not about getting somewhere.  

Learning to look at everything through the eyes of your children is perhaps the greatest gift of parenthood. Everything is new and beautiful and amazing, because of course it is! We adults just forgot.

3 x Positive Quotes From Others:

  1. The physician and writer, Oliver Sacks, on the value of gardens:

“As a writer, I find gardens essential to the creative process; as a physician, I take my patients to gardens whenever possible. All of us have had the experience of wandering through a lush garden or a timeless desert, walking by a river or an ocean, or climbing a mountain and finding ourselves simultaneously calmed and reinvigorated, engaged in mind, refreshed in body and spirit. The importance of these physiological states on individual and community health is fundamental and wide-ranging. In forty years of medical practice, I have found only two types of non-pharmaceutical “therapy” to be vitally important for patients with chronic neurological diseases: music and gardens.”

  1. An excerpt from the poem “Youth” by Samuel Ullman, a Jewish poet:

“Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust. Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next, and the joy of the game of living.”

  1. Bill Watterson, the cartoonist and creator of Calvin and Hobbes, on the difference between ambition and happiness:

“…having an enviable career is one thing, and being a happy person is another. Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.”

3 x Positive Things I’ve Been Listening/Reading/Watching this week:

  1. An insightful Ted Talk by Manoush Zomorodi on How boredom can lead to your most brilliant ideas:

One Quotes From The Transcript:

“The next time you go to check your phone, remember that if you don’t decide how you’re going to use the technology, the platforms will decide for you. And ask yourself: What am I really looking for? Because if it’s to check email, that’s fine — do it and be done. But if it’s to distract yourself from doing the hard work that comes with deeper thinking, take a break, stare out the window and know that by doing nothing you are actually being your most productive and creative self. It might feel weird and uncomfortable at first, but boredom truly can lead to brilliance.”

  1. Article: Via Negativa: Adding to Your Life By Subtracting: On how less can really mean more. 

Some Key Take Aways:

“Don’t ask yourself “What am I going to do to be a better man?” or “What kind of man do I want to be?” Invert those questions and ask “What am I NOT going to do to be a better man?” and “What kind of man do I NOT want to be?”

Eliminating obvious downsides like bad habits and debt will provide a good life; eliminating good things so you can focus on the very best will lead to a truly flourishing life.

  1. Freakonimcs podcast on Reasons to be cheerful: Why we all have a built-in Negativity bias and why the Covid-19 crisis might be an opportune time to reverse this tendency. 

One Great Rule Of Thumb I Took Away: It takes 4 good things to make up for 1 bad thing. (Something to think about when you’re mindlessly scrolling social media or news articles online)

1 x Silly Thing To Make You Smile:

I was relaying something to my wife the other day that I had been writing, and she said, “you’re turning into such a sage.” 

I contemplated this before replying, “I’ve never thought of myself as a herb before?… how silly.”

I told her that she must be a rosemary and that our son, he must be a basil because that’s the silliest herb.


Happy Mondays everyone and thanks for reading! Hope this helped and be sure to exercise your silly muscle this week!  

1 Bonus question for you’ll to ponder:

What kind of herb are you and why?