Tuesday’s Top Tip

Don’t try to get as much out of life as you possibly can.

This kind of thinking fucks you up. 

Like trying to be the best person you possibly can.

Don’t do that either.

Why?

Because both are impossible goals that you’ll never achieve. 

Also think about this.

When you get up and attack the day with as much gusto as you possible can. When you run around at a million miles an hour trying to do do do. 

Ask yourself, “How much of the day am I actually enjoying?”

I’m guessing not as much as the days in which you deliberately slow down and observe. The ones in which you look and appreciate – in which you laugh, play and let go a little (or a lot).

Here’s something else you haven’t thought of. 

In your pursuit to be endlessly productive – to make up for your feelings of being unworthy, you haven’t allowed yourself any time to rest

And no I’m talking about sleep (at least not exclusively). What I’m really talking about has to do with activities that make you feel recharged.

This can be many things – exercise or having a long bath. Meditating or going for a mindful walk in nature. Reading a book or having for a w***. It’s different for everyone! Even staring out the window for 5 minutes can do wonders. 

So what’s today’s top tip you ask?

Simple.

Slow down and take lots of mini breaks throughout your day. I mean lots. Every time you feel stressed or scattered.  Look up from your screens and take a break. Start with several slow deep breathes. Then go chat with a co-worker or grab a cuppa. And if you’re really struggling, move away from your office and go for a walk outside or hit the gym.

Really.

Not only will this bring you a greater sense of well being, it will give you much greater mental clarity. This in turn will actually make you more productive, not less. It will also mean you actually enjoy being productive. 

If it helps, don’t think of rest as a reward to be had at the end of a busy day. Think of it as a tool you can use throughout the day to keep you focused, motivated and ready to rock the fucking world. 

Previous Top Tip

Tuesday’s Top Tip

Don’t eat yellow snow.

No. Nope.

Chase your dreams?

Naaah. Too trite.

Hmmmmm…

Forcing it…

Maybe don’t?

Don’t force it. 

Here we go. 

Don’t force life. 

You shouldn’t have to! There should be, I believe, a certain flow to it. That comes from letting go a little (or a lot). It comes from letting the river carry you down stream.

That’s how you get the most enjoyment from life.

Sure there are occasions where you need to to give yourself a slap in the face, a freezing cold shower or a motivational speech in front of the mirror (What… You don’t do that?), but that should simply be to get things off the ground. 

Afterwards things should come about somewhat naturally. I believe this comes from not giving a f*** so much. I believe it comes from trusting your gut. Following your intuition. Whatever it is you want to call it. 

If you happen to find that everything is a massive struggle – that everything feels like one big drag, that’s probably a good sign that you’ve been forcing life. It’s a sign you’re burnt out (or depressed). 

Let’s take writing as an example. If you find yourself in a spiral trying to rewrite a certain bastard post several hundred times, you need to walk away and do something else. 

Meditate. Go for a walk. Go for a w… walk (yeah I already said that). Whatever it is. Laugh. Play. Enjoy. Then come back when you’re itching to do so.

We both know that the best stuff you and I write are rarely the blog posts we’ve slaved over but the ones that came about naturally. From the heart (and with a glass of red wine.) 

Live and let go. There is always tomorrow. Or maybe there isn’t! Either way it’s probably best to enjoy today as your first order of business. 

Is this good advice? No idea. Don’t really care. I’m winging it. I’m enjoying it. Along with this lovely glass of vino. That’s good enough for me. 

Till next weeks piece of useful advice…

Previous Top Tip

Now is the time – What will you do with yours?

Now is the time.

Now is the time to pause and slow down. To revaluate your priorities. To consider what is working and what hasn’t been. 

Now is time to practise gratitude for everything you have, such a roof over your head, access to food and clean running water, for living in a remarkable age technologically speaking, that helps keep us entertained, informed and, crucially, connected to all those we love despite our physical isolation. If nothing else to be grateful for life itself, despite all its hardships and heartache.

Now is the time to practise compassion for each other and ourselves. To be kind. To send that energy inwards and from there, outwards to the wider universe of which we are all part. 

Now is the time to heal. To use our shared pain as a gateway to shared compassion. 

Now is the time to contemplate time. Time is an illusion isn’t it? A trap that makes us think we have to keep on-top of things. To always do things. To strive for some perfect version of ourselves. A compete fantasy. Look at our reality now. Completely turned on its head. No time but to sit. Nothing to do but look inward, if we dare.

I strongly encourage you to do so. Sit with those emotions. Let them surface. The fear, the anxiety, the depression. Accept them as they are. Allow them into your heart. If you do you might learn something that will fundamentally change you. Something that no amount of striving, or trying to get, will ever be able to take away from you. Genuine peace. Peace with yourself and with the world as it is, at this moment.

Now is the time to practise acceptance. Learning to accept – to be at peace with yourself, gives you the clarity of mind to know how you should act – from the heart. Acceptance isn’t resignation. Acceptance is life’s biggest lesson.

Now is the time to practise awareness. To observe quietly. Meditation isn’t an act of doing nothing. It’s an act of curiosity. It’s a profoundly beautiful act of self compassion. Of being aware. Awakened. It is perhaps the most underrated act one can undertake. The act of being. Of dropping our attachment to our thinking minds. Of letting go. 

Now is the time to create. It’s often from constraint that creativity springs. Some of histories greatest minds understood and achieved true freedom in isolation. Others created some of their best work. Nelson Mandela and William Shakespeare readily spring to mind.

Now is the time to play. Now is the time to laugh. Now is the time to grieve. Now is the time to feel. To drop your guard. Now is the time to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to be courageous. 

Now is the time to look those who you love in the eye and tell them so. Death is never far away. Death is life. Death is a continuation. Part of the journey. That journey continues. It continues in your children and your grandchildren. In all the people you have touched. In all things. Death is beautiful. Death is necessary. It gives way.

Now is the time to meet your shadows in the darkness and understand they were made from light.

Now, is the time. The time to be. If you do, you might just realise that what you‘ve been looking for, has been with you the entire time. 

Now, is always the time.

The only question to ask is,

What will you do with yours?